This week, my body went back to school for the first day of professional development. This post is all about what was going on in my mind.
59 Real-Life Thoughts I Had on the First Day Back at In-Service
By: Love, Teach
- 6:00 alarm, you are my EVEREST.
- FINE. But only for the children.
- At least I can finally take this mountain of school stuff that’s been sitting in my bedroom all summer.
- Okay, what to wear... Betting my summer uniform would be frowned upon, as it does not involve pants.
- Should I even try to look somewhat decent, or stick with comfy-casual?
Arguments for looking decent
Arguments for comfy-casual
-There might be new people whom you don’t want to think you’re a slovenly old bag
-Comfortable. So, so comfortable.
-Takes almost zero time.
-You can dress up one day, take a picture of yourself, make copies of it, and distribute to the new people that serve both as gifts and proof that sometimes you don’t look like a slovenly old bag.
- Comfy-casual it is!
- Should I wear my ID?
- District policy says yes, but is that even for in-service?
- What if I’m the only one wearing one?
- Will people think I’m a suck-up if I’m wearing it?
- Or what if I’m the only one NOT wearing it?
- I’ll bring it.
- Welp, can’t find it anyway, so that idea’s out.
- I wonder if anyone got plastic surgery over the summer.
- What? Why is there traffic?
- Oh, because it’s in-service and I’m going to work at a normal human time instead of negative fifty o’clock.
- I wonder what they will have for breakfast.
- I hope yogurt.
- I hope waffles.
- I hope a gourmet omelet station.
- I hope a crown roast and keg of mead.
- But seriously, I hope there’s yogurt.
- Please, God, if you love me at all, make this a classroom workday.
- YES. SAM SMITH. This is my JAM.
- Aaaand I’m behind that one math teacher I don’t know at a red light.
- Did he see me singing ultra-seriously by myself in my car as I was pulling up?
- Awkward. Don’t make eye contact. Play it cool. Drink your coffee.
- Where are we even supposed to be meeting?
- I’m just going to follow the herd.
- AHHHH SO MANY PEOPLE.
- And they’re all wearing their IDs. Perfect.
- Would it be weird to feign illness and hide in my room?
- I bet I could do a reasonably believable impression of fainting.
- Okay, it’s fun to see people again. Good job, self. You’re being normal.
- Uh-oh. All this interaction with people is making me sweaty.
- Hello, nice to meet you, my name is Miss Clammyhands.
- Oh, helloooooo beautiful new science teacher.
- WHY DID I CHOOSE TO LOOK LIKE A SLOVENLY OLD BAG TODAY
- Oh, wedding ring. Whew.
- Just realized that all my conversations with people sound like this: “HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!” “It’s so good to see you!” “How was your summer?!” “Do you know if we get to work in our rooms today or not?”
- Oh, dear. The Back-to-School speeches/PowerPoints have begun.
- Time for me to pretend like I’m taking notes on this legal pad.
- What should I get at the grocery store?
- What do I need to buy at Home Depot to be able to fix that broken metal bookshelf in my classroom that is waiting to give me tetanus?
- What do I want to name my future children?
- Let’s doodle a crossbow-wielding panda.
- Geez, who is talking behind me? That’s so rude to talk when someone’s presenting.
- It’s also probably rude to be doodling crossbow-wielding pandas.
- Oh, an inspirational video!
- I AM TOTALLY READY TO TEACH THIS YEAR!!!!!
- I think I’m easily inspired.
- I think that means I would make a good cult member.
- YES! Classroom workday! Thank you, teaching gods!
- I’m taking another yogurt.
Sorry there were no pictures in this post, but I didn't know what to use for a post all about my thoughts. I wonder what the inside of my mind even looks like. Probably a Dali painting. One of the weirder ones, I'm betting.
Are you back at school yet? What were some of your thoughts?