I swear I get asked for assistance with completely pointless "injuries" at least 15 times a day. "Miss, my eyes feel weird." "Miss, my thumb is all tingly." "Miss, just now I thought I saw my grandma in here and she's dead." Of those 15, probably 5 ask to go to the nurse because of their plight. And then I tell them that the only nurse passes I write are for ebola or loose teeth. Most of them have learned to stop asking me because they know I am heartless.
Tre'shawn thinks he is a giant thug and I think Tre'shawn is a giant infant. Our difference in opinion came to a head today.
Tre'shawn: Miss, can I have a band-aid?
Me: (Without looking up) Probably not.
Tre'shawn: I'm bleeding.
Me: Show me.
I examine his pinky finger.
Me: There's nothing there. Get back to work.
Tre'shawn: Aw Miss but there's blood--
Tre'shawn: BUT MISS--
Tre'shawn: MISS I'M SHOWIN' YOU--
Me: DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT DESCRIBE YOURSELF AS "HOOD" IN YOUR OWN ACROSTIC POEM.
Me: Band-aids are the opposite of hood.
I'm thinking of getting that statement copyrighted (copywritten?). Let me know if you'd like it on a t-shirt.