Saturday, October 13, 2012

Hello.  Sorry it's been so long.  I seem to have fallen into DEVOLSON.

DEVOLSON is an acronym I invented that stands for the Dark, Evil Vortex of Late September, October, and November.  It's kind of a homophone for "devil's son," which is intentional.  I discovered that it's the time of the school year where teachers are the busiest, craziest, and, usually the saddest.

Whoever invented the school year (and whoever continues to create academic calendars) is responsible for DEVOLSON.  There is no greater period of transition and stress in a school year than the beginning, and, conveniently, this period of transition is an 11-week track completely free of any significant breaks.

I'm doing fine morale-wise, but let me show you the kind of crazy that manifests itself in my head and life as a result of how busy I am during DEVOLSON.

1) I almost decided to teach in England next year.  Less than two weeks later, I completely changed my mind.

2) My vehicle started shaking uncontrollably one day because I was under the impression that oil changes were a "once a year" event.  (When I reported this to my father, I could hear his palm smack his forehead over the phone.)  Don't worry.  It's fixed now.

3) I had a dream that I had lunch with my old American Girl doll who encouraged me to bring all my cats to a hotel in San Diego that she now owned.  (I don't have any cats.)

4) I tried to punish a student for snatching a paper out of his neighbor's hand by repeatedly attempting to give him a paper cut to show the danger of his actions. For the sake of my job, I'm glad I was unsuccessful.

5) I awoke at 2:45 AM one Saturday night to knocking on my back door and let in a complete stranger, thinking it was my roommate's friend.  We both realized he had the wrong address very quickly.

6) I have almost no money (still) because I keep buying things like this:

(The hat, not the baby.)

7) While speaking to my appraiser a few weeks ago, a huge flaky booger floated out of my nose like an autumn leaf and rested on my chest.  I was wearing a navy shirt.  He noticed.  I died a little.

8) I might buy a house.

9) I just blamed my booger in #7 on an acronym I made up.

That's all.

Hoping your DEVOLSON leaves you less crazy than mine already has.




  1. It is an awful, awful time! Thank you for shedding some humor! And did you know we didn't get Columbus Day off... you better believe I called in "sick" for a mental health day. #hurryupthanksgiving

  2. I think that this is made worse by the realization that no matter how optimistic you are for the beginning of the school year, you still cannot change the world simply because you want to.

  3. Welcome to DEVOLSON, bitch! ;D

  4. Ugh! Apparently my DEVOLSON started later this year. Normally I check your blog ever couple of days anxiously awaiting a new entry. Before DEVOLSON I was checking multiple times a day. I just realized that I have not looked at your page since the day you posted this. It is not end of quarter 1. The downward spiral continues.................

  5. DEVOLSON is made worse this year by the fact that I am going on maternity leave after Christmas Break. I have 0 patience/tolerance for anyone and anything right now. I have to have my colleagues proof read emails to parents...I could get fired over some of the things they have edited out.

  6. Apparently I have fallen into DEVOLSON as well since the last post I had seen was the lobster one!!! Speaking of which: I shared the premise of the post with one of my algebra sections when a girl randomly mentioned a lobster; needless to say, we did NOT finish the linear equations that were planned for the day due to baby arm conversations.. thanks for that!

  7. Always schedule a personal day in October or early November and the middle of March. Every year for the rest of your career.

  8. Oh my god. I know this is an old post, but as a first year teacher, I am SO experiencing this right now. I'm not unhappy, I just feel like my sanity is kind of....somewhere else right now. And if I could just have a nice week long break, or even half a week, I feel like everything would just line right back up.

  9. I just read your post on We Are Teachers and I am fully on board with the DEVOLSON concept. I showed up at work in two different shoes earlier this week.

  10. Heard your acronym on NPR. Thank you for helping me diagnose my exhaustion, frustration, disillusionment. I thought my first year was hard, but I think this year, #2, is much worse.

  11. After hearing about you on NPR, I looked at your DEVELSON one to send to my daughter-the-first-year-teacher who definitely seemed to be experiencing DEVELSON. But then I started reading some of the other ones, and have been laughing so hard my nose is running! A favor? Please label your entries with the title, not just the month? I still can't find the "Lobster" one mentioned above!

  12. Been there. Done that. I didn't even notice until I was at work for an hour. It pretty much summed up my day. The students said they didn't say anything all day because they didn't want to hurt my feelings...


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