(The curtain opens. A teacher in a gray cardigan, black skirt, and other Puritan-like neutral colors is hunched over scrawling grades in a binder. Several students are set up in various stations around the room. The teacher is away from them and engaged in what she's doing, but within hearing distance.)
Student 1 (lays down Scrabble tiles) Student 2: (looks at Student 1's word and frowns) Your word gotta be touching what I put. Student 1: No it don't. She said they could be anywhere. Student 2: You gotta play off my word, bro! Student 1: No I don't!
Teacher: (looking up) Guys, what's the problem?
Student 1: Does my word have to play off his word? Teacher: Yes. Student 2: (to Student 1, good-naturedly) See? Welcome to Scrabble, bitch! Teacher: (jaw drops)
(All actors freeze. Lights dim.)
Voice (from offstage): At that moment, the teacher knew she would not only be blogging about one of her new favorite lines in all of teaching, but that she would be using that exact phrase in any Scrabble game she played from that day forth. Though she prompted the student to correct himself, she whispered to him, softly, from a place deep inside her heart, "Thank you."
This week, I taught my students how to write open-ended
responses for their OER. Journals they’ll be keeping throughout the year. It’s not super fun to learn sit and learn how
to write an OER (and my kids are already reluctant readers/writers), so I tried
to make their first OER prompt something that would get them interested and be
entertaining not only for them, but for me.
I chose this:
Luckily, most of us
have normal arms. But what if you didn’t? Decide whether you would rather have a baby
arm or a lobster claw for an arm. Give
examples to support your reasoning.
In the interest of keeping my kiddos anonymous, I won’t post
their handwriting. But here are just a
few of my favorite responses from the two main camps.
Team Lobster Claw
-I will choose the lobster because is big and can chop
something. The baby arm is weak, can’t do anything, can’t even hold the box, I
think. Lobster claw is so hard I think.
If you got bites by lobster claw, goodbye.
-I would want a lobster claw because I like lobsters, and if
I get hungry I always have something to eat if I have a knife. I would want a lobster claw because it would
be easy to swim in the ocean or in a pool.
-Lobster claw because then I can still wear MITENS
Team Baby Arm
-Baby arm because baby arm you can count to five. Lobster claw you can count to two.
-Baby arm because I could heart somebody with the lobster
arm. (adorable)
-Having a baby arm is normal cause I was a baby once. I tell people it never grow.
(And now my personal favorite:)
-I will choose a baby arm because I will like to touch it
when I am on the phone!
And then, there’s always my students who are tragically logical:
-I would prefer neither because I mean mine are fine. The baby arm would be too fragile and the
lobster arm would be big, ugly, and unattractive. I’ll stick with my own arms thx.
Which would you prefer?
Personally, I’m team baby arm. I've got a blog to write (with all five fingers), and hiding a baby arm is much easier than hiding a lobster claw in photos. Or so I've heard.
Did you have a bad day today? Did anyone you know have a bad day? Take comfort in the fact that, no matter what happened today, chances are, you didn't do what I did.
To begin our unit on personal narratives, I'm having my students read and annotate a selection called "Fish Cheeks," in which the narrator (Amy Tan) is describing her embarrassment as a 14 year-old at having non-Chinese company over for Christmas dinner. While I was reading aloud the paragraph describing the unsightly food (see below), I heard nervous tittering.
"What?" I said. Many of my students jaws' were slack. Others squirmed in their seats, constipated with laughter. Three or four TIOs (my acronym for Tiny, Insane Ones) were already blue in the face from silent laugh-wheezing. Even my coteacher was smiling.
"Do I have something on my face?" I asked her. She approached me, still grinning, and whispered into my ear.
I teach with a TON of brand new teachers at my new school. They're all adorable and have super cute teacher clothes (which I covet), and because most of them are freshly-graduated education majors, they aren't guessing their way through everything like I did/am. I like being around them because they are nice and friendly. And I think they like being around me because I am horrifying and cruel.
At lunch recently, a few of them laughed over this story:
New Teacher 1: Oh, did you guys catch what Teach said to Gustavo in the hall today?
Me: Oh, dear.
New Teacher 2: Oh yeah! When she made him pick up all the pieces of the banner that he started picking off? That was hilarious.
New Teacher 1: No, but I remember that! This was just before 4th, when Gustavo was about to go in her room. The water fountains are right outside and the bell was about to ring. Gustavo goes, "I'm gonna get some water, Ms. Teach," and Ms. Teach goes, "No you're not-- the bell is about to ring." Then the bell rang, and Gustavo leaned over to take a drink and Ms. Teach says to him, "Go ahead. You see what happens if you take a drink right now."
New Teacher 2 (laughing): OH MY GOSH! MS. TEACH! Were you joking?
Me: Nope!
New Teacher 2: Did he take a drink?
Me: Nope!
New Teacher 2: I love you. I could never be that mean.
New Teacher 1: I know, me neither! I pretty much died laughing.
I wanted to say, "Guess who's going to be dying laughing when your 6th period lights you on fire because you're so nice?" but I didn't, because a) I really do like them, b) I remember feeling that way about other teachers when I was brand new c) I don't think they really think I am mean, and d) who knows? Maybe their majors have taught them to be awesome first-year classroom managers. Unlike yours truly.
So I just smile and nod. Because either one of two things are happening: 1) my heart is, in fact, shriveled and dusty from me not using it for the past two years, or 2) my coworkers haven't had time to understand yet that being nice is not the same as being kind, and that being firm is not the same as being mean.
For the past two years, the first two weeks of school were a
huge struggle of power.Students would
walk out of my room or be defiant when redirected.The first week of my first year, after
repeatedly instructing a student to finish his district diagnostic test, the
student unleashed a string of obscenities directed at me and ended by
threatening that members of his family would be waiting for me in the parking lot after
school to “f*** me up.”For those who
wouldn’t go as far as to threaten a teacher, they would roll their eyes, or
mutter things under their breath, or announce, “I ain’t doin’ that,” while
leaning back in their chair.These power
struggles ended in me winning (because I don’t lose), but it took tons of
effort, time, and energy out of me. Some lasted months.One even lasted all of 7th grade
and up until April of 8th.
But this kind of behavior is the exception at my new
school.Although it is also a Title I public
middle school in an equally impoverished area of the city, so far my students
(none of whom are advanced/pre-AP/whatever) have only been helpful, eager, and as attentive as
their little 7th grade bodies can muster. Angels. Darlings. Nuggets.
Buttons. No power struggles.When reviewing with them on my syllabus exactly what kind of behavior merits a visit from the school police officer, I heard gasps during every class. I thought a few of them were going to cry.Yesterday, I heard a student call another
student an asshole right outside my door.
“I’m sorry,” I said.“Surely you didn’t just choose to use that word within a five-foot
radius of an educator.”(I still haven’t
quite mastered the “don’t use sarcasm with middle schoolers” rule.)
He winced. His friends walked away and he approached me
quietly.
“Miss,” he said.“I
don’t know what I was thinking.I’m
sorry. It won’t happen again.”
Then it was my face’s turn to do weird things.What?Redirection without back talk or attitude or apathy? A sincere apology?
Me actually feeling bad about being
sarcastic?How is a school and school
district like this possible?
I’ll tell you how it’s possible: the people in charge aren’t
idiots.The superintendant and campus leaders
have created a district that, since kindergarten, has instilled in their kids
that it is EQUALLY important to be a good citizen as it is to be a
scholar.Central leaders in the district
are not hired to “bring up numbers” but to bring up outstanding, well-rounded
kids.Each campus has a professional on
staff whose sole responsibility is to connect the school with parents and the
surrounding community, so that school is not seen as a day care, jail, or place
that is off-limits for anyone but students, but a community hub where
everyone’s involvement is needed.Campus
leaders recognize when hiring teachers that experience or certification means
nothing if attitude, commitment, and heart aren’t there.Because of this, campus culture is naturally
warm, stimulating, and inclusive. I feel like those are such weird words that I
chose, but you get the idea.
Of course, my new school and district aren’t perfect.I’m not dumb enough to believe that the
behavior of my students will consistently be as stellar as it is after week
one.I know that I will have bad days
here, too.But I have a feeling that when
you’re in a place where you feel valued and supported, the negative things are just
a lot easier to handle.
So, how was the first week of school?Encouraging.Promising. Reassuring.Especially
because one of my Angel Darling Nugget Button Tooties provided this when asked
to draw a picture or symbol that defined him:
