Swollen tonsils had I
And a cough that was dry
On a Monday not long ago
I saw a doctor, to be sure
(The kind that's in a drugstore)
"It is strep," she said. "Here's some drugs. It will go."
"I'm so sorry-- my bad!
Strep's not what you have,"
Said the doc later over the phone.
"Call us back in two days
If you still have malaise."
I hung up with a sigh and a groan.
Back at school, I felt better
(Though not totally better)
But enough to get through and be fine.
Then on Friday around 2
Chills and fever (the flu?)
And a feeling of way too much wine.
I slumped back to the doc
"The malaise! Make it stop!"
I pleaded and started to cry.
"With your fever and fatigue
This is out of my league.
To the ER," she said. (This was around five.)
Then two glorious friends
In their Mercedes Benz*
To the nearest ER chauffeured me.
It was nice with clean floors
Chick Fil-a was next door
And the doctor came quick as could be.
"I think it's mono," he said.
"I hope not," I said.
"You show symptoms," he said once more.
"I hope it's not," I said.
"I'll write you a work note," he said.
"I hope it's not," I said, which he ignored.
And so now I wait
For the gods of fate
On Monday to confirm or deny
Whether this plague that infests
My head, throat, and chest
Is mono, or, hopefully, a lie.
The moral of this poem? Choosing the least coverage option for insurance (i.e. doctors in drugstores) may seem like a good idea, especially if you are never sick… until you are actually sick. Adding this to my list of new teacher mistakes to avoid.
Now for the game! If you can tell me the rhyme scheme of my poem by 9:00 AM tomorrow morning (02/25), you will be in the running to receive a Starbucks E-gift card! You don't have to be first, you just have to be right. Be sure to include your email so that I can reward you :)
*It may or may not have been a Benz. I had a fever. And needed a rhyme.