Don't Date a Girl Who Teaches

Saturday, November 23, 2013

I stumbled across this sweet, darling blog post by another blogger entitled "Date a Girl Who Teaches".  It lists examples of traits common to teachers and explains why they would be desirable to men. Here's one:
It is easy enough to date a girl who teaches. She won’t want expensive gifts; you can buy storybook for her birthday, flowers for Teacher’s day, craft punchers for Christmas. You can buy her anything but please spare her with coffee mugs; she has lots from her students.
Positively saccharine.

I read the post, then immediately began writing my own version. Friends, I give you:


Don't Date a Girl Who Teaches



Let's say you meet a girl.  She's cute, fun, and when you ask her what she does for a living, she replies, smiling, "I'm a teacher." You probably jump to some positive conclusions about this girl.  She must be extremely patient and have the kindness of a Mother Theresa/lamb hybrid. You might even picture stock images of teachers, laughing as they point to vowels in a workbook, or smiling triumphantly as little Johnny correctly identifies Macedonia on a map of the world. You think about movies and TV shows you've seen where teachers like Hilary Swank, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Zooey Deschanel charm the socks off their students, overcome seemingly insurmountable odds, and manage to do it all while looking awesome. 

Well, I'm here to tell you to snap out of it. Here's what you're really in for.

She will speak to you as if you're a student when you're wrong in an argument (and probably if you're right, too).
She's highly trained in the art of keeping her cool in an argument, and one of those ways of keeping cool is delivering some of the most mind-blowingly annoying one-liners on the planet.  For example:
"Let me know when you're ready to take responsibility for your actions."
"Use your words."
"Was that a good choice?"
These statements and questions, disguised as innocuous, even gentle hints, are designed specifically to make you want to set yourself on fire.

She will go hours without responding to your telecommunication attempts, often without explanation.
If you're one of those people who expects to hear back when you text or call someone, you should probably steer clear of teachers. I know that personally, from about 10:30 PM to 5:30 PM the next day, it's a complete crapshoot whether I will reply at all, let alone promptly.  

She has a near-perfect BS detector.
You will get away with nothing. 

You thought PMS was bad? Try PEGPS.
PEGPS stands for Pre End-of-Grading-Period Syndrome, the period of time before grades are due for report cards. Like PMS, PEGPS is characterized by extreme irritability, poor nutritional choices, and zombie-like fatigue. However, unlike PMS, PEGPS lasts for 2-3 WEEKS and happens four to six times per YEAR. 

And when PEGPS overlaps with PMS, you'd better get the hell out of Dodge, my friend.

She will bring home every strain of every airborne disease within a 25-mile radius.
Hope your immune system's perfect.

She will compare all your problems/accomplishments to the papers she has to grade.
"Honey, I just qualified for the Boston Marathon!"
"Oh, please. I just graded 180 persuasive essays in one weekend."

"That was my mom on the phone. They just put my childhood dog down."
"You think that's depressing? Look at these literary analyses they turned in. Five weeks on this unit and they still can't come up with a decent thesis!"

She won't be able to see you ever, especially during DEVOLSON.
And if she is available, she will only want to watch a mindless movie at home in perfect silence.

If you decide to take her anywhere directly after work, just know that it will seem to others as if you are escorting around a cardigan-wearing, homeless witch with unexplainable stray marker/pen marks from wrist to elbow.

Fellas, let me save you some trouble. If you're in a bar and you see a woman in flats and a cardigan with an oversized shoulder tote asking about discounts, stay away.

Stay very far away.

Love,

Teach


P.S. I was kidding about everything.  You should totally date a teacher.  They're pretty kickass.

326 comments:

  1. This is probably one of my absolute favorite posts ever!

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    1. I second that! And you couldn't have said it better. Printing it out for my husband since this proves I'm perfectly normal...compared to other teachers!

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    2. Why do teachers make great lovers?
      Because they make you do it over and over again until you get it right!

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  2. HAAAAAAAAAAAA yes. My poor husband.

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    1. MY poor husband... married to a teacher AND he's the son and nephew of teachers! Ha ha ha!!

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  3. I am a music teacher and this STILL rings true.

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    1. Thank you, we exist and if we teach elementary music, we not only see one group of kids, but EVER DAMN CHILD in the entire school. -_-

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    2. This is why music teachers have trouble finding jobs. Why dies it "STILL" ring true? Do you see yourself as a lesser teacher because you teach music? I teach music and I'm pretty sure my job is even more stressful than what is described here. Be proud. You teach music!

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    3. I think music teachers have a little less grading then the other subjects....

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    4. False. Music teachers have way more JUSTIFICATION they need to do for their grades because most people don't understand that we actually teach content, not just "pretty singing/playing" If we're any good at our jobs, we're constantly grading. . . it just doesn't always take the form of graded papers (although it can, and often does, especially nowadays).

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    5. Why it still rings true? Because we generally don't have papers to grade.

      Why do we have trouble finding jobs? Because a school might have 25 classroom teachers for every one music teacher. Add to that the fact that administrators often see "well, she has played piano before" as the job requirement for the music teacher gig, and the competition goes up. After all, who wouldn't want a teaching job where all you do is have the kids sing and don't grade papers anyway?

      The issue is that many schools and teachers don't treat music teachers as real teachers. I have been in one district where the elementary level called art, music, and PE classes "the specials" and the teachers were obviously "the special teachers" where in fact, they are the specialists.

      It's easy to forget that music teachers (regardless of grade level):
      * Create our own curriculum every year
      * Are expected to do more than have the kids sing
      * Teach a variety of grade levels, often in the same class period
      * Are expected to take care of the sound system whenever there is an assembly
      * Prepare multiple lessons when we absent, expecting that the sub will not know anything about teach music
      * Present public performances throughout the year, often as entertainment while the "real teachers" get yet another break from teaching


      And we often do all of the above with only one class per week (less than 40 hours per year), as a result, much of the time is spent reteaching or catching up those who were absent or pulled out for tutorials because 150 hours of classtime instruction and after school a year plus after school tutorials just isn't enough.

      Why would music teachers feel like they are unappreciated? There are some possibilities...

      No worries, my football team is still in playoffs and since the band program exists solely to support the football team...I guess focusing on that Christmas concert in three weeks wasn't all that important anyway. One more round of Land of 1,000 Dances!

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    6. (as evidenced above) another reason not to date teachers: they are constantly complaining about how overworked and underappreciated they are. The rest of the world works, too, ya know. And without a 3 month break for summer.

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    7. The rest of the world doesn't bring home the ridiculous amount of paperwork a teacher does. Get a clue, you rude, unappreciative prick.

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    8. Further, a 3 month break for summer? Break? Bahahahaha! 3 months? Bahahahaha! No. Teachers spend summers attending conventions, conferences, workshops, professional developments, training seminars, curriculum planning meetings, teaching summer school, taking college courses, and other time-consuming things. When it is all said and done, most teachers get about two weeks off, just like the rest of the world who works, too. Ya know?

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    9. That's so cute, you think teachers get a 3 month break for summer. Maybe if they are teaching in the 1850's.

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    10. that's so cute - you think attending professional development is real work.

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    11. Please. Teachers got nothing on big city lawyers.

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    12. In reply to Joel, the funny thing is that teachers dread assemblies and do not look at it as "free time"...as we watch the performance, we are thinking of how far behind we already were in covering the content required to pass benchmarks and state tests. It is weird to me when certain teachers start belittiing other teachers. I stay after school (unpaid) to help my students, but I don't complain about doing it. It sounds like your district has different standards than ours for teaching music. Our students go daily, and the classroom teacher assigns the grades, so that DOES stink that you have to do your own grade on the report cards.

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    13. Investment bankers work from 7 am to 9 pm, dont talk about your job being stressful when you don't have to deal w people constantly trying to backstab you and steal your deals. I think your idea of stressful is much lower than everyone elses cos your major was so incredibly easy.

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    14. No, you're doing it wrong. I am the music director at my school. I am also the PE director and Theater director. I get two months in the summer and it is all about ME! I play and frolic and laugh and travel and smile and forget about clocks and forget about what day it is and enjoy the summer as I have since I was a child. When class is in session, I work.

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    15. Most teachers are under achieving losers who like to think they know everything in life but really they know nothing!!! Not all teachers are the same Only applies to some!

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    16. I was first a research scientist and then an investment banker before I became a teacher in the UK system.

      TRUST ME when I say Investment Banking is kids play, payment for fun, party time and most definitely, absolutely definitely NOT long hours or arduous work.
      Teaching is exactly as described. Oh yeah - and being stabbed for real by a teenager with issues is nowhere near as much fun as being stabbed in the back on a misbrokered deal.

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    17. The harder an investment banker works, the more he gets paid and the bigger bonuses he gets. A teacher always gets the same thing.

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    18. may be it was a pun.... music teacher, rings true.... nm...

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    19. Teachers do love to complain. They deserve to do some complaining, but lets do some analysis:

      How many hours does a teacher work per year?

      The school year is about 180 days. Lets say the typical work day is about 10 hours.
      Plus 6 hours every Sunday.
      A week before the students start and a week after they leave.

      180*10+36*6+40*2=2096 hours per year

      How many hours does another professional work?
      52 weeks per year
      3 weeks vacation
      40 hours a week

      (52-3)*40=1960 hours

      The hours per year are roughly comparable.

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    20. Better recheck your MATH.

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    21. I know it is tough to be a lawyer, but you wouldn't be a lawyer if you never had a teacher there to support you and encourage you to be successful. Teachers are important because they are supposed to inspire their students to follow their dreams. There would be no lawyers if there were no teachers.

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    22. Would-be-lawyers are completely capable of inspiring themselves. I may have had one inspiring teacher in my entire life. I'm not saying being a good teacher is easy, but there are a hell of a lot of useless teachers.

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    23. Wow. "But you have the summers off" is the worst thing to say to a teacher. If you are complaining about how much better someone else's job is, why not give it a try.

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    24. Every work environment has it's major stressors: working in retail (having to work Holidays, low pay, working with the general public, etc) Higher profile jobs (ie, lawyers, doctors-much better pay, but stress of others lives in their hands in one way or another...) Obviously being under constant scrutiny of your every move has got to be stressful! So we ALL have certain major stresses in our professions!
      But on the subject of Teachers, I am very appreciative for every teacher no matter ehat they teach because I know the profound effect they can have on our children and just hope every child gets the opportunity to experience at least one that they connect with; it's an incredibly important relationship!
      I owe who I am today to a few teachers; onevof whom I still speak to almost every month since I had her in class...26 years ago!
      So to all of the teachers here: thank you & please remember that your job is VERY important & you are appreciated by many (even some that may never be able to find a way to tell you!

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    25. All of this teacher bashing is indicative of a culture that despises education. And we wonder why schools are in trouble....

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    26. (I wrote a haiku.)

      Teaching is hard, and
      so is your job. Let's get some
      margaritas, y'all.

      (I also wrote a limerick.)

      There once was a comment section
      That developed a sort of infection
      "YOUR SIDE'S WRONG," it wheezed
      as it coughed and it sneezed
      and spread negativity in every direction.

      (I also wrote a free verse poem.)

      Earth.
      Wind.
      Sky.
      Fire.
      Work is hard.
      But there is no prize for most suckage
      Unless you work for
      a baby bottle
      distributing
      company.


      Thank you, thank you. I'm here all week.

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    27. Classy bowling, LT.

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    28. Awesome poetry. This comment thread definitely took a turn...

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    29. y'all complainin about stress at work, try defendind this fucked up country. You act like a "group" of individuals is better than another "group". thats like tryin to argue about who's dad is "cooler". I Give respect to anyone who works hard. Teachers who work hard and enjoy what their doing can really make an impact on someones life, so they do deserve respect and a lot of it. If someone works at mcdonalds and has a smile on their face everytime you see them and does their job right, they deserve just as much respect because they're making the best of their situation and are putting forth effort. Be happy you are safe at home with your families or your friends, be happy you have a job, quit bein so fuckin sad over things you take for granted EVERYDAY. Semper Fi

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    30. I am a teacher and I love my job. I work 2-4 additional hours a day + weekends writing reports and developing Individual Education Plans AFTER I spend 8 hours teaching. I have only 6 weeks off for summer because my district has an academic calendar with 2 & 3 week breaks during the year . While this may sound like an ideal schedule for some, I counted on working for the3 months in summer for the past decade to be able to pay for my medical bills that my crappy school district insurance does not cover.
      Every job has it's positive and negatives. If your job is too stressful, then change. Life is too short to not enjoy what you do.

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    32. I love the poetry above and the post in general :-)
      As a teacher, I would not change what I do for the world. I teach children with disabilities and it puts a whole new perspective on the things we take for granted in our daily lives.

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    33. So many different and equally valid, yet completely biased and conflicting viewpoints have been expressed here.

      It's quite simple in how complex it is. Part of it is stress, and everyone deals with different stresses differently. Some of you have talked about the people they work with being more conniving than children, but I can guarantee you that there are those who just shut down around the constant high energy of children. And others of you are talking about how teachers have so much time off, but I work a consulting job that's both tied to the stock market (I'm working when it is open) and tax season (I work at least 80 hours a week between January 1st and March 15th), and yes it's a ton of work, but I enjoy what I do and it isn't too overbearing because of that fact.

      If you think teachers are being paid too much or too little, the way I see it is you have two options:

      1. You believe in the free market, so you know they are underpaid because so much of their market is government controlled, which is the antithesis of free market.
      2. You believe that government control is the most effective/efficient, so obviously those teachers for private schools are being over paid, and thus on average teachers are paid too much.

      Either way, that comes down to belief on capitalist systems which no one here is discussing.

      However, the larger point is that certain things come easier to some people, than other things come to other people. If you all want to keep speaking in generalities and then only providing anecdotal evidence... Have fun. If you want to have a viable discussion, my opinion is that, based on the current situation, the type of people that choose teaching as a career, are either more suited to it on average, than those that enter other professions, so on average it is less stressful/less difficult. Alternatively, we have a systemic/societal discountenance of education in general.

      -Part 1

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    34. I can provide my one piece of anecdotal evidence, that I don't remember a single teacher I had before college (I graduated last year with my undergrad), and I'm already making more than any teacher responding on this post (I was careful to write making and not earning.)

      I think this all has to do, more with the larger topic of how we've created such an emphasis on education that we require more education than is necessary for most positions, and there is such a cost premium on education, that the lower levels of education have lost their distinction.

      I will leave you all with my final thought. I believe we have lost the distinction between education and cognitive development. By that I mean, a fry cook at McDonald's, only really needs a middle school level of education, but they don't (these days) seem to develop the work ethic and responsibility to maintain a full-time job at that level until after high-school age. I don't think that that should be an indication that high-school is required to be a fry cook, but either that we've stop teaching our children responsibility at the rate that they can handle it (though we all recognize it as having been horrible, girls use to start raising large families at the age of twelve, with the 'boy' of the household was 16, we don't expect as much out of our kids, as quickly as, we use to.) Or that we keep telling our children that they're all special and that they can all do whatever they want, because that is simply not true. Moreover, as politically incorrect as it is, not everyone can be the best, half of people will below average. When we stop trying to convince the bottom (don't take this as class warfare, when I say bottom I mean the bottom intelligence-wise, not sub class based on parental success. Studies have shown that intelligence is cyclical, as in, the most intelligent, tend to come from the least intelligent parents (Forrest Gump for a fictional example)), that they can be above their station, our lower level education, and thus educators, will be more properly valued. Until the large number of different systemic issues are addressed, all this back and forth is purely academic, and not very useful academic at that.

      -Part 2

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    35. When I wrote "I don't think that that should be an indication that high-school is required to be a fry cook, but either that we've stop teaching our children responsibility at the rate that they can handle it", I meant "I don't think that that should be an indication that high-school is required to be a fry cook, but either that we've stopped teaching our children responsibility at the rate that they can handle it"

      *Edit to Part 2

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    36. I'm a teacher in my 9th year. I have thought seriously about leaving the profession this year due to the stress of my job (more & higher expectations being placed on me, but less time available to complete them) all the while trying to be a good Mother and Wife. I love my family and they deserve a good mother and wife, not a stressed, exhausted, on-the-verge-of a mental breakdown, cardigan wearing, homeless-looking witch! But everytime I start to fantasize about driving to a work place in the morning where I would sit behind a desk, sip coffee, chat casually with coworkers, complete paperwork, stare at a computer monitor, attend meetings with adults (not screaming, cussing, fighting, disrespecting kids)... I get pulled back to the reason I chose this crazy path- I really enjoy teaching kids. I really enjoy watching them achieve new goals. I love when they finally learn to work together in small groups and create something really great! I get to have some kids for 3 years. It's quite amazing how much they grow up from 6th to 8th grade. They come in like little kids and leave me as mini-people with mature ideas, expanded vocabulary. I also worry that if I left teaching, it would be one less teacher that really cares about the kids yet at the same time who doesn't give a f*** about the Department of Education or their latest update on curriculum or their stupid f****** test. I hate testing and I hate what it's doing to our kids. So, I teach because I am passionate about teaching. I just try not to forget about my own family from time to time. I don't think teachers have a "harder" job than everyone else, but I do think that we have a pretty incredible job. By the time I retire I will have taught thousands and thousands of kids. I see former students in the store and they're all grown up and so excited to see me! Kids I barely remember are excited to see me and tell me that they loved my class and learned so much.I kind of feel sorry for anyone that has never had the opportunity to even volunteer with kids. They are really missing out. Especially that fry cook guy above me. He cant remember his teachers before college?! Did he have a brain injury in high school? How will he remember what he learned in college?! I remember all my teachers, they inspired me to do so many great things. Even to this day, I think to myself, "What would Mr. ______ think if I..." My best teachers shaped who I AM! Poor fry cook guy. I'm sorry you had mediocre teachers before college and I'm sorry about your brain injury that won't allow you to remember your teachers. They would be a little sad if they knew that, especially after the hours they spent grading your papers, teaching you how to form sentences into long passages like your "fry cook" story above. You should thank your 2nd and 3rd grade teachers (whomever they were) for teaching you to write so that you could fully communicate your fry cook story. Seriously.

      -Miss Susie Teacher

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    37. "But everytime I start to fantasize about driving to a work place in the morning where I would sit behind a desk, sip coffee, chat casually with coworkers, complete paperwork, stare at a computer monitor, attend meetings with adults".

      FYI - that workplace doesn't exist.

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    38. "FYI - that workplace doesn't exist."

      Yes it does.

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    39. its funny you guys are acting like the children you teach. shut up. everyone works. its stressful in every job no job is better or worse. its work deal with it.

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    40. What's distressing is the lack of respect shown here for each others' work and work places. Each person deals with a high level of stress in their work place. Parents, students, principals, co-workers, bosses, customers... In the end, all the careers mentioned in this post are necessary to the overall success of our society; so I will not begrudge anyone their right to complain about what they have to go through. However, I would expect that adults could have a discussion with each other without stooping to insults, profanity, and "my job is harder than your job" kinds of comments. It's the state of this country, I guess; with such hard divisions, why would we not create divisions of our own?

      So very disheartening...

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    41. Meanwhile factory workers work 16 hour shifts without a bathroom break. Machinery fails on them and damages their body, workman's comp gets tied up in the courts via high paid lawyers their company can afford that they cannot. They lost a foot, and because of that their house. : )

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  4. This is hilariously accurate and I'm a teacher myself.

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  5. Spot on. You could also add "inappropriate humor," like telling my brother-in-law he's buying the white shirt because he's racist.

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    1. LOL! Inappropriate humor dominates at our house, my husband and I both teach middle school.

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  6. As I was reading this, my wife was experiencing PEGPS. She got so much angrier not understanding what I was laughing about. I tried to tell her, but it got worse.....so I just ran....

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    1. I'm falling off the couch laughing and relating!!

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  7. I couldn't even finish reading that first post. The idea that my boyfriend were to get me simple "teacher" gifts for holidays and anniversaries is insulting. To me, that says that he only ever wants to see me as a teacher, and not as a woman. The idea that he can feel free to be gross in front of me is asinine! Yeah, kids fart, and I do too, but I don't want to come home to a complete slob! That post was all about keeping a woman in her place instead of empowering her to be something more. I wanna hit the author in the face. Does she even KNOW?!

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    1. What do you do for a living? This was meant to be a joke..... Even though so much of it can be true at times. If you don't agree with a post move on. I don't agree with some of your posts but I'm just going to over look that allow you to have your opinion and enjoy your gaming and baking blog. I'll just know it isn't worth my time to read your blog and that is my opinion I'm entitled too.

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    2. Pff, you didn't even read more than the first post? The entire article was a counter-argument to the top post.

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    4. One more attempt: The misunderstanding here is that I was referring to the post that inspired this. I have since read "Date a Girl Who Teaches" or whatever it's called and am still offended by it for many reasons. This post here however, is hilarious.

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    5. As a teacher, you'd better get a sense of humor or you are going to be cranky AND alone all your life. Have fun with that!

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    6. Teachers- speaking for myself, and most of my friends- appreciate the little stuff- big stuff to, if it is appropriate- humor is most appreciated- and patience too. Loved both blogs! If it offends you take your high horse- elsewhere

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    7. Wow, you need to relax and enjoy life --and its simple humors

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    8. You must not be a very good teacher, since you aren't very thorough in your reading. Missed that part where the author said "Kidding about everything" did ya??

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  8. I'm male highschool teacher and all of these are totally true. I loved the part about grading 180 persuasive essays. That's exactly how it is. Teachers work so hard.

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  9. I loved it. I can't tell you how many times my husband has told me "Don't talk to me like I'm one of your students." LOL

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    1. Me too. and include my kids. They tell me, "Don't talk to me like I'm one of your middle schooler!"

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    2. My huisband has given up saying 'Don't use your teacher's voice on me', after 30 years together, the 'voice' has only got more set.

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    3. LOL I've heard that so many times! My response is always, "Well don't ACT like one of my students, and I wouldn't have to TALK to you like one!" (I teach Kindergarten)

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  10. I also love the game where I talk about my day and then make up names for people who I can't actually talk about. Then later my significant other will ask me about this kid whose name I made up on the spot and I give him the deer in the headlights look because I have no idea who he is talking about.

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    1. My father-in-law uses the same made up name for all of his students, so we have to describe what he told us in detail before he figures out who we're checking up on.

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    2. That's HILARIOUS. Mostly I just say "this one kid..."

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  11. This is doubly true in my house. My husband and I are both high school English teachers. Our non-teacher friends avoid us during the end of the quarter.

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  12. This is a great! I would also add that when I'm out in public with my boyfriend I will completely ignore him to give the evil eye to other kids who are running around acting crazy. I can't help it. I have a strong desire to discipline other people's unruly children. And if they don't settle, then he listens to me complain about it for the next ten minutes.

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    1. Love it! I am the same - a teacher 24/7.

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    2. I do the same thing...and people look at you like you are crazy when you do discipline there children in public. I just reply that I am a teacher, and if parents cannot discipline their children I will because another teacher will thank me for it :)

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    3. Please learn the proper way to use there, their, and they're since you're a teacher. I hate how teachers think they're so above everyone. You're an idiot and I hope you have to get a real job one day so you can complain in poor English about working all year round.

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    4. During my student teaching, I helped coach a long distance running program. Since we ran in the neighborhood the school was located, sometimes we encountered other students, too. One time, we passed by a couple of high school students playing in a nearby basketball court, and the one boy was cursing like a sailor (while the others just kept playing), as soon as I heard it, I panted out (while running), "Watch your language!" Since I look young (and even less so when in workout attire) he responded, "Girl, you can't tell me what to do!" I didn't realize one of my students was running behind me and said, "That's my teacher! You can't talk to her like that!" It was great.

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    5. A real job? Are you kidding me? I'm also very bothered by the misuse of there, their and they're, but it is not a reason to insult someone or the entire profession in general. Please think before you comment.

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    6. Don't even respond to the one with the "real job" unlike us. It took us to make sure that he was able to obtain the real job that he currently holds...lol.

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    7. Maybe the spelling issue is due to the posts being written by math teachers..... I can't do math very well but I can spell and do grammar well. There are many reasons why they're math teachers and not spelling teachers. Their brains are wired differently. That is why 2x + 3t will always add up to 5xt for me. Doesn't work for me. Have a grand day, y'all.

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    8. The grammar police is out and about. *rolls eyes*. It's so nice to meet someone that is perfect and never makes a mistake. I'd love to follow YOU around all day and see how a real 'professional' gets it done.

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    9. The other day at the store I had to stop myself from telling a teenage girl that she needed to go down to the office because she was out of dress code.

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    10. So sad that when people feel inferior they think they can only feel better about themselves by putting others' down. Should we blame your parents or your teachers for this undesirable quality? Surely it is someone else's fault other than your own.

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  13. That's because "teacher" is who we are, NOT what we do.

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  14. Oh my! What a nice way to start my marathon grading day :)

    My husband hates it when I give him my "teacher look", but really appreciates it when I can stop a group of teenagers from acting like morons in public. After 25 years he knows the end of a grading period (or parent conferences) means he's in charge of shopping and cooking. Which means he's cooking tonight, again. :-)

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  15. He forgot about the occasional PTSD!

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    1. Yes, many teachers have PTSD as well as bouts of depression from the extreme stress they experience. Be nice to teachers! Hardest job in the world!

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    2. How true, I have PTSD and have been attacked by students with autism so badly I have had several Emer. room visits. Nightmares of being punched in the head 22 times while trying to keep other smaller students away is not uncommon, especially for Special Ed. teachers.

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  16. So funny, and true!

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  17. Here's a perspective from someone at who is at the other end of the career: www.isitjuneyet.blogspot.com

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  18. Don't know how many times my son has told his friends, "that's her teacher voice, you better do what she said and do it now!" :-)

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  19. Those who bashed your blog didn't read the entire article--especially your ending comments! I'm a teacher, and I totally experience every single 'malady.' I thought this was absolutely hysterical!!

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  20. My boyfriend and I are both music teachers, and this is spot on. We also talk to our dogs like they're misbehaving students. "Baxter, make a better choice."

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  21. I am a teacher and this is hilarious and completely true! Thanks for the great laugh!

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  22. where is the part about not being able to spend time with your teacher girlfriend b/c she is so busy planning lessons, grading papers and bringing her work home that she barely has a free moment??

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    Replies
    1. Amen.

      It is like I only have a wife between June 15 and August 15.

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    2. My husband used to tell everyone he was a kindergarten widower.

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  23. Both my husband and I are teachers.....we can both relate!

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  24. Absolutely true. I'm a special education teacher and when I meet my husband after work for dinner, I have 12 rubber bands on my wrist. That one was missed!

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  25. I accidentally said "boys & girls..." to get the attention of a roomful of adults; and my aunt, who taught kdg for 30 years, started buttoning my uncle's coat before they went out on a cold night. Oh how I love teaching & read/hear about other teachers' funny stories. Thanks!

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  26. Add having school supplies stocked in the garage. I have been in a position outside of the classroom for the last 8 years. When I went to the garage to look for something, I found a huge container of notebook paper, spirals, flashcards and even a judy clock. I got so excited and yet laughed at myself realizing that I was so happy purchasing all of these extra items year after year.

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    1. Ha Ha! I have been retired for 7 years, and I grieve a little when I go to Staples and see all the school supplies, knowing I do not need them anymore. (I did but some pencils, but they were cheap and we can use them at home). This fall I was very sad to realize that I had sold all my Fall/Halloween/Thanksgiving books. What was I thinking?

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  27. I once had an adult say to me, "Don't talk to me like I'm a seventh-grader." My response? "Don't act like a seventh-grader."

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  28. I'm pretty sure my husband would agree with about 100% of this! Well done!

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  29. You forgot the urge to confiscate cell phones in public or demand that someone obnoxiously chewing gum spit it out.... guilty!
    I teach MS/HS Spanish and my boyfriend has a PE cert though he had to take a job outside the field. He cracks up when I'm a teacher outside of school and claims he's dodged the bullet himself.

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  30. During many summers my husband has announced, "I can't wait until you can take "the look" back to school! Of course, in a mere fourteen working days, he is going to have to learn to live with "the look" when I retire!

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    Replies
    1. Congrats on on your retirement!!!!

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  31. Still too much saccharine and I say that as a elementary school teacher.

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  32. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  33. This pretty much goes for men teachers, minus the cardigan and flats, but instead will be pens in pockets and disheveled look!

    Sincerely,

    Disheveled looking man teacher of 3rd grade germ farms!

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  34. Love it! I once corrected some boys who were goofing around and making a lot of noise on the tennis courts when league matches were going on. Their response, "You're not our mom!" My response, "No, but I'm a teacher and you WILL do what I say!" And they did! :)
    Pam
    Desktop Learning Adventures

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    1. I teach high school and have heard that statement so many times I've lost count. I have also lost count if the number of times I've been called "Mom". I still answer. ;-)

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    2. I can ditto that remark-after 28 years!!

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  35. I enjoyed this. I work in an international school and all of this can be seen from time to time. During the US government shutdown, I was out to dinner with a group of oil company employees. They all burst out laughing when I said, "Those lawmakers just need to use their words, focus, and get the job done." Well, it works in first grade.

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    Replies
    1. I bet it could work with lawmakers too. We just have to teach them how!

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  36. This all rings true. On the plus side, I'm the go-to for getting everyone's attention at a party or social event. I just use my teacher voice. :-)

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  37. If you like these teacher tales check a book called "The Tundra Diary"

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  38. Hilarious! Spot-on! My husband cracked up, as he knows all of these behaviors well.

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  39. Oh, hell yeah. When I taught, I was doing report cards once, PMSing up a storm, and drinking wine, and I suddenly wondered how many of my own grades had been similarly influenced. But the wine certainly tipped things favorably for the kids, so no harm, no foul.

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  40. I haven't been in a classroom in over 10 years....but still find myself counting my children's friend's heads whenever we are in public like we are on a field trip!

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  41. I'm not a teacher, but I work at an elementary school, and my mom teaches 4th grade. Aside from the airborne diseases and the telecommunication, everything on this list is totally my mother. All I have is the "teacher voice".

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  42. Haha this is great!! I am a teacher and I am def guilty of many of these!!! My poor husband!! LOL

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  43. Trick or treaters became very picky this year and asked what candy I had. My response "you get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

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  44. My husband tells people he has been in perpetual detention since marrying me. He has spent time in my classroom mopping floors, disinfecting tables/toys, cutting out an endless supply of little pictures, making copies, and any other odd job I don't have time to do with a roomful of little darlings. He never knew he would spend more time in school as an adult than he did as a student ;)

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    1. This is the work my own half grown children do for me-my husband has helped me build puppet theatres,lecterns and bookshelves, decorate for proms, and load and unload boxes at the end and beginning of every year for twenty-five years now. It's family affair!!

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  45. As a teacher I agree with most of these! BUT, guys do get to fulfill a lot of hot fantasies by dating us, so that is a plus...

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  46. Loved this article. It is quite accurate. I also have teacher ears as I hear everything whether I was supposed to or not. I retired three years ago after teaching English for 30 years. I loved it and I do miss it, especially the interaction with my juniors. Teachers share a special bond. I am still amazed when I am in a group of people and the teachers always find each other.

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  47. This is true and in my case my school keeps switching up curricula, admins,and procedures! So you have students and grading and adults to deal with!

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  48. You left out the hot high school teachers that get asked out by current or previous creepy-ass students that you in turn have to give the "that's inappropriate and against my ethics as a teacher" speech. Gross!

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  49. Hilarious!! Especially the one liners! Thanks!

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  50. I'm a teacher and I'm totally awesome and dateable!!

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  51. Love this! My husband is also a teacher so he was nodding as I read parts of this to him, but it applies to both of us!

    Although I have to say cardigans are more armor in my case - protection against bad ventilating systems where you never know what temperature it's going to be in your room, let alone the room next door! :)

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  52. I even talk to kids when I am out shopping! I tell kids to quit messing with stuff and go find their mom or I'll just give them the same look I give my 5th graders!

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  53. My husband is a middle school teacher. He has momentary lapses, but still overall has the patience of a saint.

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  54. As a male teacher the other issue with dating a teacher, if you want to have kids with that teacher and like certain names you may not have the ability to use them if we've had a student we couldn't stand with that name. There are certain names that my kids will never have because I had an annoying student with that name.

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  55. Guys, avoid school teachers like the plague. Here's just a few more reasons:

    1) Teachers are always on the lookout for guys who make lots of money and it is all they want.
    2) You clock-out and leave work at the office or factory, they can't leave the classroom at school.
    3) You'll tire of hearing the last question they have before you go anywhere or do anything: "Do you need to go to the restroom?"
    4) Bossy and manipulative... because that is how they must behave in the classroom.
    5) Never-ending complaints regarding how little they are paid and all the work they must do.
    6) You're constantly being graded on the assignments they bestow upon you.
    7) The "God complex"

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    1. Oh, please. You know not of what you speak, sir. I am a teacher and the only one that applies is #2. I'd rather not have to bring home things for planning and such, but it's part of the job. Just as you may have stories to tell from the office, we have stories-of our kids (students-but always my kids) and colleagues. And then there are always those students you worry about and try to think of ways to help them. But you'd better believe I make time for my life.

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    2. Well, those are certainly reasons not to date you...#8 you're a prick.

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  56. I love this...soooo true! I've been teaching for 14 years and married equally as long, so my hubby knows there are occupational hazards associated with being a teacher (and with being married to one), but now he's got it even worse as I am now the school librarian, so he has to tolerate constantly being "shooshed" and getting scolded for not keeping things in alphabetical order...lol :-)

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  57. The marker/pen comment made me LOL, but my husband enjoyed the PMS/PEGPS the best. So true all of it! And yes, I do talk to everyone like they are one of my students-constantly repeating myself, over and over and over again!

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  58. Nearly that time of time month...(PEGPS).
    Good stuff!

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  59. Love this! I am a teacher dating a teacher... what now?!

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  60. Awww . . . another 'pro-woman, anti-man' disguised rant. Why do you women feel such a pull to try to feel superior to men?

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    1. My teacher boyfriend totally fits this mold (except the markers... his kids are undergrads). And yeah, he is awesome. I don't think "teacher" means "woman."

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    2. From the posts I am reading, many are superior to your "anonymous" attitudes which are childish and lack the good sense of a decent upbringing. Did your parents or teachers forget to teach you morality? Surely you (anonymous) are not responsible for your own lack there of....

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  61. thanks for the insight. After reading your post I texted my gf teacher and broke up with her. She still has not responded.

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  62. Some of us tricked our spouses into dating us in another life (aka career) and then moved over into teaching.

    It's not just a job. It's an adventure.

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  63. WAY cute and probably pretty realistic too!

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  64. This was perfectly exactly who I am. I got a good laugh!

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  65. I love this. I"m actually in school to be a teacher and my boyfriend loves to point out how much of a teacher I act like.

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  66. As a 26 year veteran in the classroom, I hate to admit it....I resemble a few of these observations. Very funny. Great blog!

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  67. You need to add one:
    If you plan on having children, good luck picking a name as the ones you like are probably a reminder of a horrible experience with a kid of the same name. I kissed "Joshua" off my fav list because of this.

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  68. I was laughing... that is until I read the comments. Coming from a teacher, there is nothing more annoying than watching fellow teachers try to justify themselves using the typical "my job is so hard" argument. Again, I am a teacher, so hear me out. I have done other things prior to becoming a teacher, and it is true... teaching is the hardest thing I have ever done. It is physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausting. The general public has no idea how hard we work. From the outside looking in, it does seem like a pretty sweet gig. I think what annoys me about the endless teacher griping is that we forget that we should LOVE what we do. If you are a teacher who hates the pay, the stress, the constant to-do lists, and the way we are perceived by the public, I highly suggest you find a new job. As far as the pay goes, I am not rich, but I certainly couldn't find any other job that would satisfy me the way this one does. I also could never find a job that would give me 14 weeks off a year. Please spare me the, "I work 12 weeks out of those 14!" argument. We do spend that time planning for the upcoming year and honing our craft, but I love that part of my job. I also know that we do not work near as hard during that time off as we do when students are around. Moving on to the perception from the public. Unless these people quit their current profession and walk a year in our shoes, they will never get it. Suck it up and move on. No amount of complaining or explaining is going to change that perception. I think we need to look at our own words and really look at how we are fueling the fires between teachers and non-teachers. I know how difficult it is to be a teacher, but I also know how joyous it truly is. Let us focus on the positive and remember why we do what we do.

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    1. Thank you. I taught for several years and had a career before teaching and after. I get so frustrated by the sense of entitlement some teachers have. I loved teaching and hope to go back to it. The pay, the benefits and the time off are three things I won't find in most jobs. I think it takes a teacher leaving education to see what it's like for everyone else. My friend is saving $1000 per month in benefits by leaving the business world and going into education. He will work less and make more, all things considered. Plus he is in a fulfilling career, unlike before. Grass is greener for some...

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    2. I love my job, too. Teaching is extremely difficult and stressful, but it is my calling from God. I can't imagine me in any other vocation. I love my summers off. I still love that summer has never lost its childhood magic for me. But people need to remember that it is not a VACATION in its true sense, because we are not paid for it. We only get paid for 10 months of work.

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  69. ...and then when you are out in public, former students seem to appear in droves like small town paparazzi.

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    Replies
    1. Yeah, and your shopping basket is full of beer and tampons! Oy!

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  70. Upset about the stupid comments and arguments! This blog post is awesome! Several friends on Facebook already shared it. Well put, sir!

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  71. If she's old enough to be a teacher --out of college, possibly graduate school-- then she's old enough to be called a woman.

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  72. unless you work teaching children, you will never understand the joys and hardships. as a teacher you sometimes you feel more like a referee, nurse, judge, investigator, baby sitter, mother and other jobs as the children attending public schools are becoming more and more needy.

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  73. The solution? only teachers should date teachers! haha! Then, like my husband and I, you can both ignore each other all week, grade all weekend together at the dining room table and then crash in front of a mindless movie on saturday night.

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  74. You people make me laugh EVERYONES WORK IS HARD I don't care what you do......Teachers I commend you I could never do what you do. As for myself as a business owner with my own construction company I am sure there are those of you who cannot do what I do. That is all it boils down too. Soooooo many have to take a good hearted joke and twist it into yet another debate of who works harder and who has bigger balls. Whats this world coming too. Great joke. I enjoyed it and I appreciate all the teachers who continue to teach all the children of the jackasses who don't realize half the time the teacher's are the one's raising your children as well and most care for them like there own.

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  75. So true! If I had this info 3 years ago, I'm not sure if i would be married right now... my wife (3rd grade teacher) will be mad when she sees this comment. But what's crazy, is that she sent me this link. All so she could get a kick out of me reading this post...

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  76. Those of you who teach, you are special people. Thank you for your time, talent, and effort. Those of you who are the spouse of a teacher, you are also special people. Thank you for your understanding, patience, support, and love. They would not be able to do their jobs as well as they do without you.

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  77. I wish I would've been warned before I married one.

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  78. TT - Anonymous Also: Oh, my! All so familiar, as a retired (17 years) elementary teacher who always worked an extra job on weekends and summers, I can really appreciate all this. Raised eight children and have eighteen grandchildren. Two daughters, one son, and two daughters-in- law are all teachers, so you can imagine family conversations echo many of the comments here. Teaching is a noble but much maligned, under valued, and misunderstood vocation.

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  79. Too funny (and true)! My favorite was the part about random marker and pen marks below your elbows. It's UNCANNY. How do those GET there?! LOL. I'm sure my husband would entirely agree with the part about the end of the grading period. I am a HOT MESS. Too funny.

    Oh, and geez with the negative commentary! LOVED your poetry, btw. I'm just always impressed when a teacher blogger has so many followers. Boo to Negative Nancys, but I just have to laugh. :)

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  80. Thank you for the blog post! I had a great laugh out of it and as I always do, had a great laugh out of the following comments! While there are those folks that are a teacher by profession, I also believe that EVERYONE in ANY job is just as much a teacher in a way. At some point or another, everyone in every type of job there is has had to train (or teach) a coworker in the "grown up" world. My two cents, so now let the opinions about my opinion begin!

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    1. Love this and this is exactly what I tell my kids. Even when we become adults, this does not mean we stop learning aand that the children can teach people around them too.

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  81. Several years ago, before I was married, I remember hearing an offhanded comment about how obnoxious it can be for a guy if his girl treats him like a student, even inadvertently. I took it to heart, and from time to time ask my husband if I've done a good job of avoiding this. I'm always relieved when he says I don't slip into teacher mode with him. I want a husband, not another student! :)

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  82. I taught middle school, high school and college PE. The pay sucked at all 3! But hell it was PE and a blast. One of my college friends and I got hired for our first ever teaching jobs at the same middle school. She always complained about all the work she took home. I just laughed and told her she should have been a PE teacher. I had little extra work. Then she visited my class of 43 7th graders playing street hockey. She said she would stop complaining haha! Every teacher fits a different role. Some of us can command 40-50 students and that's where our work is done others deal with 20-30 and have homework. Everyone's different. On a side note, I was laid off in 2010. I started my own business and make my teaching salary every 10 weeks. Teaching was easy by comparison and way more time off.

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  83. It is funny but true. I have also been accused of repeating myself many times to make sure my date understands what I am trying to say. I also change it around each time assuming they do not understand my point. It is what you are trained to do all day long....it is hard to turn it off when you leave work.

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  84. I can't handle how funny/true this is. I LOVE the postscript; once you break through all these barriers, we're fly as hell.

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  85. Loved this and really got a good laugh, which was so needed right now! I Of course, it's so true too - everything you wrote. My husband knows the times to walk around me lightly and speak in dulcet tones. My daughter laments having a teacher for a mom - for her it's school 24/7/365 because I tend to relate everything to education when we're at home. It's life with an educator, ya know? Teachers - educators - we have to have a sense of humour to make it through this thing we call a career. And yes to all the grammar police lurking about, I know I misspelled "humour" - I am married to a Canadian. :)

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  86. Teaching is the hardest job THAT EVERYONE ELSE THINKS THEY CAN DO!

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  87. I'm currently a learning and support teacher and it is easier than having a class of 30. I love my job but find that by Friday afternoon I'm so exhausted that I can barely stay awake. We are seen as the problem solvers so between team teaching, having a caseload of students that we need to write IEP's for, testing, reporting, co-ordinating national testing at our school, organising disability provisions for state exams, monitoring out of home care students and managing students who are having a melt down, need a pen or a tissue we also support class teachers who have students mucking up, assist casuals who don't know the students, fix technology issues and solve class placement and ESL dilemmas just to name a few of the things that we do.

    I'm just thankful for holidays and for a principal who tells us to go home and not think about school for awhile (that I get paid for in Australia) as they allow me recuperate mentally and physically, spend quality time with my husband and children and to sort all the things that simply don't fit into the term time schedule! By the end of my holidays I'm usually well and truly ready to go back to work with enthusiasm and to see 'my' kids.

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  88. Welcome to the world of Nursing!!!!!!

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  89. Man, there are a lot of miserable people out there! This is not meant to be a competition of whose job is the most difficult. Work is well, WORK! Everyone's job has its challenges and rewards and cannot be compared to anyone else's job on an objective level.

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  90. PEGPS? That goes both ways - I was a male who taught second grade for 25 years, and I suffered from it as well! Unfortunately for my wife, our anniversary always fell during the first conferences, and her birthday fell during the mid-winter conferences.

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  91. The article is great!! I am not a teacher, but I currently date a Kindergarten teacher. Although the constant struggle of listening to somebody complain as though they are the only industry/field in the Milky Way that works full time, the benefits of dating a teacher are great. Specifically during this time of year, the holidays, when parents send all kinds of goodies in to the teacher. Since she doesn't want to eat ALL of the sugary goodness that parents send in, I live high of the holiday hog with cookies, candies and other delicious treats. I LOVE IT! Teachers work very hard, have to deal with overly sensitive and stubborn parents that refuse to believe Sally/Johnny is anything but a Rhodes Scholar and any professional that says otherwise is just proof that the education system is flawed. I love my teacher! But seriously, you teachers do get three months off. Please spare the rest of us 12-monthers the, "We work on our classrooms, go to conferences, prepare for the next year, etc" sob story. I'm sure that "preparation" is sitting by the pool sipping lemonade and scrolling through Pintrest for clever classroom ideas.

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  92. As somebody who has had other jobs before becoming a teacher, I can say that different jobs have different stresses. This does not mean I think being a teacher is more stressful, but that maybe is a type of stress that someone else feels. Not only is it stressful because you have to make sure you are trying to get all the paperwork done. Teaching also involves being stressed about 25-30 children making progress academically, socially and emotionally, whilst dealing with the continuous "Miss he hit me", " Miss she was nasty to me."
    Also when you're talking about holidays, this is not just for the teachers. This is also for the children too. For anybody who has trained in a job. Imagine training continuously for 13 years as an adult always learning new skills with only 4 weeks holidays. The children need their school holidays for a rest. My school is almost at the end of a 9 and a half week half-term and our children are exhausted.
    I am luckily enough to enjoy my job, no matter how stressful it can be, it can also be extremely rewarding. I hope others as are as lucky as me to enjoy ttheir work no matter what it is and that I can inspire the children I teach to do the same.

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  93. I wanted to comment on the post, my wife has been a teacher for nearly 20yrs. She is one of the hardest workers I know, and I truly cannot imagine loving someone more than I love this woman.

    thank you to all the teachers out there and my personal favorite teacher Malia.

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  94. I admire you, Anonymous. You work so hard at so many jobs - how do you manage?!

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  95. I love the article, made me laugh-but then I began reading the posts, and they made me well-upset. As a teacher, some days are difficult, but I love every minute of it-and the comments about summer, sure, we get a break from our students, but not from our careers...you don't want dumb people teaching your kids-so we continue to learn! And for the person who mentioned that they have to worry about "backstabbing," you chose your profession. Just as teachers chose theirs, where we are in danger of school shootings, violence, and are trained to defend not just ourselves, but our students from those who are committed to harming our kids...we (teachers) are not self centered as you would like to believe...and would lay down our lives to protect your kids, and too many teachers have done just that! Please-next time you want to criticize a profession-remember we do more than you think, just as I am sure you do more that we think...

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  96. Love, Teach...I can't decide what I loved more. This post or your poems! Hahhaha you made my week!

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  97. Great article! I just wanted to throw in my opinion on the "teachers are hardworking" versus "they have it easy" argument. I used to think that it was ridiculous for teachers to complain about their jobs - I mean, they get paid relatively well, they get summers off, and they get a lot of benefits, right?

    That was until I became a teacher in Taiwan. Granted I was an ESL Teacher, which is different, but it's hard as HELL to teach. I love kids, but you have to be at a 100% energy level all of the time. If you aren't, or if you don't have classroom management skills, or if you don't have a lesson planned to occupy the students' attention at all time (and contingency plans), then the students will realize and take advantage of you or become bored. I would say that one hour of teaching is the equivalent to three hours of working an office job, in terms of output.

    Also, compared to the hours that teachers put in planning lessons, grading homework, and preparing tests, I would say that they are not paid well. It might be as much as the government can give them, but it's probably not fair. There are many rewarding things about teaching, but I don't think lax schedules or high wages are among those things.

    Props to all teachers! I value your work and energy, and I'm impressed with how hard you work and how much you care!

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    1. Also, the three months off would be great, but I don't think they get paid for it. They can just choose to stretch out their 9 month salary to 12 months.

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  98. Myths About Teaching:
    "Three Months Off"--I get about 6 weeks if I'm lucky, and it's full of graduate classes and professional development and curriculum creation.

    "Tenure" and "Union Protection"--in many states, including Arizona, teachers have lost tenure under state law and the union is a joke.

    "Music Doesn't Count"--in my state, there are music standards that must be taught and tested via a computer based pre- and post-test.

    "The Average Teacher Makes $60,000 a Year"--I have no idea where these people are getting their numbers, but out of the 500 or so teachers I know very very well, only 2 or 3 are at that level, and they've been teaching for 30 years. The rest of us hover between 30k and 40k for about 180 hours of work per week.

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  99. So From the Daughter of a Teacher:
    Mom started every day with us kids getting us off to school and herself there in time to meet the bus which some days was just a fun ride. Then she had class with all the rest of your kids. She would drive herself trying to reach little Joe or maybe Sue would do better with this. And then she'd stay after school to do the set up for the next day, after school meetings, tutoring or who knows what else. Then she came home but she wasn't ours yet as she was still tired from dealing with other people's children's drama. So she might not be out of that stressed mindset yet. But to quote others "...but there were mouths to feed" so after a quick meal would she be ours yet? No. Now there were after school meetings, the school play, and the endless correcting. The first thing a child of a teacher learns is how to correct, because it is parent time and it might mean getting the damn pile of your parent's paperwork finished for once in time for you to have some time with them. So while all of you gripe about how much a teacher is paid, what days they have off, what your child learns or doesn't let me tell you what I saw over my mother's career: 1) a woman who studied hard to figure out new ways to reach your kids 2) a woman who spent her summer using her kids as guinea pigs to test classroom content for your kids 3) a person who brought your kids into our home: their work , their troubles, and their families issues and tried to wade through it all and make it work. 4) a person who taught extra lessons on the side to help our family make our bills 5) So how many of you professionals have to bring in your kids to help set up classrooms, before school year prep, end of year tear down, it all passed in a blur each year of stapling, filing, taping, running errands (oh wait you have paid aids the same ones cut from last years school budget) 6) shall I go on ...and before you think I hate teachers I followed the family tradition and taught Special Needs until the recent changes drove me to reassess America's commitment to education. If you all in John Q Public all think teaching is so easy and teachers are so well paid for this job take my place as I have quit. If parents won't read to their kids ( I don't care if they are special), if they won't teach them public manners (no its not cute its rude), or if parents won't respect the education processes make your kids responsible for their education reading,homework and learning (yes learning not goofing off) then they can take my place and teach in a school. f the elected officials think it's so easy take my place, with less and less budget , with more and more education, with children less prepared to enter school, with kids needing more accommodations and no funds, and yet another politician talking endlessly when if he really wanted to help he (or she ) would leave their office and be the aide a classroom needs , or the extra hand in a school system with too many kids per teacher. If you have the solution take my place because I can't do it anymore when in the past three years I have stood between fighting kid, kids out to hurt each others. I been kicked, punched, scratched, hit, to the point of permanent damage and still I'd have stayed and tried to make it work had I made my bills but when I found out I can make more working and the job description does not include "handle being assaulted weekly" yeah I quit. When they asked me in my interview how will you handle the stress of a deadline I did not ask them how do you handle the stress of two fighting teens both twice your size but answered politely.

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    1. Excuse the spelling errors, and grammar it 3:42am here and spell check is only so useful

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  100. And I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up...
    I take it back. :I Social working, here I come!

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  101. Hey, buddy...as a teacher "with a near perfect bs meter", let me say that neither I nor any other intelligent reader is going to be fooled into thinking that a "just kidding" at the end undoes all of the degredation in your actual piece of writing. Being a teacher is awesome...sorry you didn't make the cut...you apparently can't even get one to date you. In the event that you once again set your sights high and try, here are a few tips...if you don't want her to speak to you like you are her student, don't act like one of her students. Teachers who plan well rarely have metldowns, but a little support during a stressful time would be both unselfish and helpful, if you can manage it. We don't use our phones during the school day because our students can't use them and we are supposed to be modelling the kind of behavior we expect from them. We talk about our jobs and compare them to your significant life events because, to us, they are just as important. Teaching isn't something you do, it's a way of life. We do not mean to diminish your accomplishments/ hardships, we are just forever trying to find points of comparison to explain to people what we do and how important it is to us. We appreciate silence at home because, during work hours, students are calling our names constantly (usually more than one student at a time!)...however, being appreciated and needed while we're at work is very rewarding and we wouldn't trade it for the world. Sorry you can't experience it in whatever job you have. I hope you get past this insecure phase in your life where you feel like you have to put down women who are teachers to feel better about not being good enough to date them...and I hope the next time you choose to air negative feelings online, you do so in a less passive-aggressive way. This post would have been offensive no matter what, but the "just kidding" at the end, as if anyone will excuse what you wrote because of that one line, is ridiculous. You are no better than a person who chooses to confront someone via text rather than in person, and then places a smiley face after insults, as if that makes everything ok. To all of the female teachers out there, you are FABULOUS. The only importan piece of information to take from all of this is, when you're looking for a date, is steer clear of this guy.

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  102. So true! I am guilty as charged, and I am not even in the classroom any longer :)

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