6 easy steps to keep yourself from lighting the world on fire

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

I was in a meeting today that upset me, and by that I mean that it made me want to hire a rickshaw to run me around the whole world while I sit in the back with a giant blowtorch, setting everything that comes in my path ablaze. 

I have noticed that on Bad Meeting Morning days, I tend to be really grouchy with my students.  This is unfair because I believe that no one should see my wrath unless they’ve really earned it.  So, I have created a routine for myself to transition back to normalcy after I am frustrated, and I would like to share that routine with you now.  

1) Cover your eyes and take 15 deep breaths.

This makes me think I’m back in the womb, where I had time to take deep breaths and it was dark.

2) Listen to nature sounds.  

How can you be mad at anything when you’re hiking* through a rainforest or near a babbling brook?  If you are a teacher, put nature sounds on while your students are doing anything. If you’re not a teacher, just put a pair of noise cancelling headphones on and tell people you’re sorry, you can’t remove them because you’re having your ears dilated.

Here is a link to my nature playlist.  I used it today with my students and it was like they'd been drugged.

If this joyful baby donkey doesn't make you smile, you should probably gather your things and call it a day.

4) Eat some peanut butter filled pretzel nuggets.

 Imagine them as the heads of the people who are annoying you.  Tip: ration yourself so that you don’t accidentally eat half of a family-sized large plastic barrel in one sitting. 

5) Think about the adults who are annoying you as mermaids (or mermen) who have been banished to an aquarium at a local restaurant and must perform for their food. If this is too weird for you, think of them as taxidermy, mounted to the wall of a place you never visit.  If this is too weird for you, think of them as baby versions of themselves.

6) Smell something nice.  

If I was rich I would keep a bottle of lavender essential oil in my desk, but since I am poor I spray some purple Febreze, which is also lovely. Side note: once I saw an episode of a show where a woman was addicted to smelling the head of a baby doll. You may do this if it pleases you.

I hope that you remember this the next time you have a Bad Morning Meeting, or whatever in your career or life makes you want to go on an international blowtorching rickshaw excursion.



*I almost spelling this "haiking"!  What a day.


  1. I like it, L,T!
    #5 is my very own fave because I put everyone into a cartoon that runs in my head. Makes them all appear very stupid, which of course they are, but now hey, they're cartoons!
    I also like #1 because I never thought of that before! Good one!

  2. I just discovered your blog - perfect timing! I have a Bad Meeting Day coming up next week and I always find myself being unintentionally mean to my kiddos after... time to break out the purple Febreze and baby donkeys!

  3. This is excellent. I shall have to implement some of these next time I'm feeling irritated.

  4. I love you. In a non-creepy platonic way. Your blog always serves as a nice destresser. :)

  5. I'm not a teacher, but I recently stumbled on your blog and love your style of writing.

    Re the nature sounds tip, I began listening to the playlist you made this morning as I was getting ready for my day, and I remembered this cool site I'd heard about a while back:


    It's a calming, background noise generator: it gives you a bunch of pre-recorded nature sounds and you can mix as many of them together as you want and adjust the volume for each one (leaves + rain is my favorite :). The background also changes into different soothing colors randomly and it even has a text editor built into the site so you can write while staring at the calming colors (apparently it's called "chromotherapy").

    Hope it bring a little more peace into you and your students' worlds!

  6. @ Elisa, noisli=new favorite toy. Thanks

  7. Loving this blog - we share the same random and dark sense of humor and I think it works in our favor during the long days. You rock.

    Love, Teaching for seven 'effing years.

  8. Can you cover your eyes and start the deep breathing while in the Bad Meeting? This year has been so full of exceptionally Bad Meetings that my colleague has had to talk the blowtorch out of my hands on numerous occasions. I'm so glad I'm not the only person who felt this way. I thought I was going crazy. I actually have a tiny bottle of lavender oil. I'm going to dab some on my wrist before going into the meetings and start deep breathing immediately.

  9. This system works extremely well for other jobs. I'm the personal assistant for a big-time lawyer and I have many, many Bad Meeting Mornings (in fact, I JUST came out of one). #5 is my favorite: I have NO trouble imagining all these annoying lawyers as banished mermaids and mermen performing for their food. Work it, Mer Person!

    Fact: Bickering attorneys are like bickering adolescents.

    Oh, where art thou, Family-Size Barrel of Peanut-Butter-Filled Pretzel Nuggets?

  10. A good reading can happen from here. I love to read always. My hobby is reading and writing. Writing more and become a part of any good college paper writing service is a great practice to write well as well as for a good reading also.

  11. It is very easy way to gift any friends or brothers. You just get free psn codes from this page after use you can share to friend. you and your friend both are cand get this superb service.

  12. Individual or Free charge card obligation union is to some degree comparable and is really implied for individuals who are in developing obligation by virtue of overwhelming utilization of Visas, notwithstanding you will fit the bill to advance combination subject to great record as a consumer. cash advance san-diego

  13. After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr Zuma zuk and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email: spiritualherbalisthealing@gmail.com or call him +2349055637784 you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything. CONTACT HIM NOW FOR SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR PROBLEMS'

  14. Thank you again for all the knowledge you distribute,Good post. I was very interested in the article, it's quite inspiring I should admit. I like visiting you site since I always come across interesting articles like this one.Great Job, I greatly appreciate that.Do Keep sharing! Regards, hamptonbaylighting

  15. I was dying of laughter by the time I got to #2. We have a friend from college whose signature dance move at weddings (including my own) is speed skating in slow motion across the dance floor. I can only imagine how distracting this would be to test-taking kids! Now I can't wait for standardized tests at the end of April!

  16. Website Design and Web Development Jaipur
    Being a website designing and web development company in Jaipur GIT Infosys will become your end to end partner to get your business online.

  17. Drug Rehab - De-Addiction Treatment Center in Delhi
    NVS India is provides treatment and drug rehabilitation for alcohol and drugs addicts. Contact to Nasha Mukti Kendra in delhi, India Call +91 9828155322

  18. computer repair in jaipur
    Jics arena training institute – certified it & hardware courses for bright career of students
    Laptop Service Centre in Jaipur is a professional Laptop repair centre, in the Rajasthan offers a comprehensive range of Laptop Services in Jaipur We repair and upgrade services along with friendly customer service. Our team of experienced technicians and hardware engineers can repair, service and upgrade laptop & desktop both.We can have your laptop/desktop problems fixed in less than a day and at times while you wait depends on condition.

  19. Hello!
    This is excellent. I 3rd mortgage shall have to implement some of these next time I'm feeling irritated.


Your comment might take awhile to post, but should be up soon! Thanks for your feedback :) L, T