16 Things You Can Do While Actively Monitoring during Standardized Testing (or the next time you’re crazy bored)

Tuesday, March 4, 2014



I know I use a lot of superlatives, but administering standardized tests is pretty close to the worst.

Let’s stop for a second. I know what you’re thinking. “What’s so hard about handing out papers and watching students take a test? That sounds pretty cush to me. I would love to do nothing for six hours!”

Wrong-o, my friend.

The type of “nothing” that you are thinking of probably involves a lot of things—reading a magazine or a book, checking your phone, looking around idly—but this is not the “doing nothing” of standardized test administration. While administering a standardized test, the only two things you can do are 1) walk around the room, and 2) watch students take a test.

No computer/phone/technology of any kind.

No writing, drawing, doing crossword puzzles, or Sudoku.

No lunges, jumping jacks, or anything that would distract students.

No grading papers or getting caught up on work.

No sitting for more than a few minutes.

No standing in one place.

No zoning out.

The State would call this "actively monitoring." It's not that actively monitoring in itself is terrible, but, much like Chinese water torture, hours of it (and for several days at a time) will turn anyone into a crazy person. 

 Because of this, I've become somewhat of an expert in creating mental and physical activities that can be done while actively monitoring that won't distract children or get you in trouble.  WIN-WIN!  (If you're not a teacher, you can use any of these the next time you're getting an CT scan!)

16 Things You Can Do While Actively Monitoring During Standardized Testing:

1.       First of all, wear a pedometer. Set up a contest with other teachers to see who can get the highest step count during the day.  Whoever wins gets, I don’t know, a bottle of 100 year-old single malt scotch. Hahaha. Just kidding (or am I?) But make it something good.

2. Do a few laps around the room pretending to be an Olympic speed skater during a slow-motion replay.

3. Walk down the rows imagining you’re:
  • walking down the aisle to marry your favorite celebrity and all the students are wedding guests
  • on the red carpet in the most awesome dress/tux of your LIFE and all the students are paparazzi
  • walking the plank on a ship and all of the students are pirates
  • walking in a cemetery and all the students are ghosts
  • scuba-walking on the bottom of the ocean floor and all your students are sea creatures
  • a flight attendant and the students are passengers on the "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" Twilight Zone episode
4. The Active Monitoring Workout

  • Abs: I read somewhere that one of the most effective ab workouts is simply exhaling all of your air, then tensing up your ab muscles as hard as you can.
  • Legs: Put ankle weights on during a break of at the beginning of the day, and do calf-raises when you get to the back of the room (students might get distracted and/or you might earn the nickname Twinkle Toes if they see you doing them)
  • Arms: Flex your bicep as hard as you can for various increments of time 
5. Imagine what animal each student would be. Not personality-wise, but strictly based on facial appearance.  For example, the Mythbusters guy looks like a walrus.


6. Imagine who you would be friends with if you were that age in school right now.

7. If your group of students somehow got stranded on a desert island, which job would each student have? (Ex: firewood collector, hunter, shelter builder, resident artist, town fool, etc.)

8. Dream up your Best Day Ever.  Best Day Ever means that you have 24 hours do whatever you want, whenever you want, and with whomever you want.  Try to plan out every detail. What would you eat for meals? You would stay in one place the whole day or jump around to different places in a teleport? Who all would you see—friends and family, celebrities, or a combination? Your imagination is the limit!*

9. Think about what kind of unrealistic things would make the world a better place.  For example:



  • If streetlamps were also bubble machines
  • If hallways were trampolines
  • If instead of receipts we were handed chocolate chip cookies
  • If we got paychecks for laughing instead of working


  • 10. Think about your answers to these compelling “Would you rather…?” questions:

    • Would you rather get pooped on by a bird every time you go outside, or never get pooped on but be allowed outside for 5 hours on Saturdays only?
    • Would you rather change gender every time you sneezed, or not be able to tell the difference between a muffin and a baby?
    • Would you rather have to smell a fart all the time or have super bad breath?

    11. Think about how happy it would make you if a parade of your favorite animals and/or people just randomly burst into the room. Also think about what song would be playing during the parade.

    12. Look at the items in the room and think about how you would use them for survival if there was a zombie apocalypse

    13. Think about where on your campus you would hide if there was a school-wide Hide-and-Seek with a $1,000,0000 prize

    14. Use some Crest White Strips or other teeth whitening agent

    15. Buy three different kinds of gum and time all three of them to see which one loses flavor the fastest

    16. Take your pulse before and after thinking about the most annoying person you know and see if it changes

    Now I would like to know your answer for your Best Day Ever and at least one of the Would You Rather questions. 

    Wishing you a happy and healthy testing season,

    Love,

    Teach
      
    *dorkiest thing I’ve said all month. Not apologizing.

    119 comments:

    1. I didn't have to proctor this year for the first time in ever. AND I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE GRATEFUL FOR ANYTHING IN MY WHOLE LIFE. Never.

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      1. Psychs and CandyMarch 5, 2014 at 9:10 AM

        Same with me! Oh my goodness, I was so happy!!! It's like winning the lottery! :)

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    2. These are fantastic. And will definitely save my life during practice testing this week! Thank you!!

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    3. I was dying of laughter by the time I got to #2. We have a friend from college whose signature dance move at weddings (including my own) is speed skating in slow motion across the dance floor. I can only imagine how distracting this would be to test-taking kids! Now I can't wait for standardized tests at the end of April!

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    4. This is absolutely hilarious! Thanks for sharing!

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    5. I'm grinning like a loon while reading this. I love this list and plan on putting several into practice. Especially #3. How can you not have fun doing that?

      As for #10, I would choose getting pooped on by a bird as long as it is a small bird and not, say, an eagle. I already have a hard time differentiating between babies and muffins. They are both so delicious! And bad breath for sure. Let someone else deal with the problem!

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    6. I always try to figure out the square footage of the room I'm in by counting the blocks. If I have access to a window, I count the cars that go by and figure out the rate of people per hour who pass the school! I think your ideas are much more entertaining!

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      1. I think I have practiced my geometry skills by figuring the area of every room I have ever tested in.

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      2. me too.... also at the dentist...

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      3. I have counted ceiling tiles on more than one occasion!

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    7. Hilarious! I've spent the last 2 days of 'active proctoring' trying to find a walking pattern that avoids all the creaky floorboards in the temp...kind of like playing an adult version of 'hot lava' :) Fun times!

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    8. This is a brilliant list. Absolutely hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!

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    9. Laughed sooooo hard! This is great! I will definitely chew the 3 or 4 different gum flavors and get back to ya'. BTW...gum is not allowed at my school so consider this a double challenge....

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      1. You earn Triple "Dare" points (and a case of beer) since it's breaking the rules- lol!

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    10. We just had our "how to administer the test" meeting tonight. Everyone listened politely to someone who had never gave the test tell us how to give the test. This made my day!

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      1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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    11. Are allowed to wear curlers? We could be letting the rollers dry.... And we can wear one of those "sweat shorts" -- the ones that are like aluminum fabric that "melt" the fat off.

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    12. I am not proctoring tests this year and I too am very grateful. These are great for next year!

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    13. This is EXCELLENT. The fact that you have thought all of these up makes me wee my pants laughing. Especially imagining students as walruses/other animals. I am studying to be a teacher, and during my last prac there was a kid who looked EXACTLY like a walrus.

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    14. My very last sub assignment during my post retirement days was to monitor for a week at the Middle school... for a previous 3rd grade teacher this was a horrific week.. these really put a smile on my face..... wish it would regain the years that I lost that week.

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    15. Thank you for this list! It made me crack up! I always just daydream and count down the minutes until I can change the "time left" on the board. Your ideas are much more entertaining!
      Amber @ http://www.applestoapplique.com/

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    16. I had to share this with my 4th grade team! Hysterical, but so needed! We don't have proctors this year, so I may have to try some, since I won't have another individual watching me watch my students. Seriously!

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    17. This is awesome! I created mental games last year to try to keep from going crazy. It's great to have new ideas!

      My best day ever would be hiking in the rainforest and suddenly seeing a wild jaguar. .. at a distance of course! Then hiking to a waterfall to cool off and get clean before going to sleep to the sound of the ocean in a big cushy bed.

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    18. If you have a larger room and multiple proctors, you can play battleship. Set up the grid with numbers and letters, and mark your ships (the kids) on a piece of graph paper. Proctor one stands behind the student he is guess, proctor two nods for a hit or shakes no for a miss. Then the proctors switch.

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      1. This is my favorite idea yet!!

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      2. Add to the previous terrific list

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    19. Zombie apocalypse...hands down my fav.

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    20. thoroughly enjoyed giggling through this!

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    21. Here is a great Armstrong and Miller sketch about administering exams.
      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ufc4WHODaRs

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      1. My belly hurts from laughing so hard! Forwarded to my staff... THANK YOU... we needed that!!

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    22. I'm an ECE teacher and I have been pulled to proctor. Anyone ever try to count or estimate the holes in the suspended ceiling tiles? You will by the time the testing is done. I also would get to the end of a row and do stretching exercises.

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    23. Thank you for keeping your wits about you, and finding something USEFUL to do with testing! :) Cheers!

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    24. I pass the time by accessing my mental music library. I'll pick a theme, like weather, and try to come up with as many songs as I can for sunshine, rain, fog, etc. Or, I'll try to think of songs that include names of states or cities within a specific state. I'll also come up with an A song and then challenge myself to come up with the name of a song that begins with the last letter of the song title. It's amazing how much time I can spend "actively monitoring" and entertaining myself at the same time.

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    25. My favorite is to figure out what do if any real emergency happens during this test that no one is suppose to leave the room during. For example: fire, tornado, lock down, hurricane, what to when your student pukes on said test, etc. This can take hours to fully run through the situations.

      The last one actually happened to me my first year proctoring on the first day of testing and I wasn't allowed to leave the room or use the phone. It was interesting.

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      1. I know the answer to the puke question...we are to bag it and give the student another test...I kid you not! Had it happen one year and couldn't believe they actually wanted that horrible paper, let alone ask the poor sick kid to start over! He couldn't do a retake liek an absent student because he already started the test. I now send any students who look even the slightest green to the nurses office and won't let them back until testing is over. I know, they hate me in the nurses office for this, but they never had to literally bag and tag a barfed-on paper before...and keep it in your testing box the WHOLE WEEK! YUCK!!!!! Who comes up with these stupid rules?

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      2. At least you got to put it in a bag and not touch it again. Years ago one of my 4th graders puked on their test. The principal, district test supervisor, and I had to sit together in a room - to prevent cheating of course - and transcribe every disgusting page onto a different answer booklet! I am always on the look-out for the ones who could blow before we start testing too :-)

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      3. The year it happened to me my nonexistent super ninja skills kicked in and I managed to grab the test paper with one hand, catch most of the barf with the other (it was sheer instinct) -- clutched the one like my life depended on it, shook the other hand over the trash can a student brought me, hosed my hand off and called the nurse. Fortunately for me the kid had done enough that his paper was score-able and we could just send him home and disinfect his desk and the floor.

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      4. The 8th grade science teacher had decided to give my students an experiment the night before standardized testing that involved bring a raw egg to school! A few of the 8th graders decided to fling raw eggs around the class room. Only one student's test got ruined...the testing administrator's had to deal with it.

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    26. I memorize shoes on students' feet. I also figure out the percentages of shirt colors in the class and compare them daily. When we have to hang newspaper to cover up posters, I strategically pick the pages to have interesting articles. :)

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    27. Oh thank you so much for this. As we begin state testing tomorrow (ACK!!!), I needed something to make me laugh.

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    28. Ah! Wish I would have seen this YESTERDAY....before I had to proctor ALL day! I'm saving this for next year!

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    29. Here is a question...if states and districts are so worried about testing conditions, why don't they hire professional monitors and let the teachers have a work day? Much more productive...testing time is completely mind-numbing for teachers and students!

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      1. There is no money for hiring test proctors.

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      2. make it a requirement for all politicians to proctor for free

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    30. Luckily, I always have some song or another playing in my head, so when I get bored, I just listen to it. The hard part is not joining in out loud.

      I'd rather change genders each time I sneeze, because I wouldn't want mental impairment. No telling how far that might expand in my brain.

      Best day? On a "Gilligan's Island" type island where there are no pressures to go anywhere or do anything with all the people I care most about - and them all getting along.

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    31. Count the number of tiles on the floor, on the ceiling and then count them again in a different order to make sure your first number was correct. And if you've forgotten the first number, then count them agin to match the second number. Silently count to a thousand, then again by twos, then by threes. Do something inane like memorizing the alphabet backwards:zyxwvutsrqponmlkjihgfedcba (I've been there).

      And if you think this is inane, think of the poor kids having to take those tests with all of the useless inane questions, the answers to none of which you'll ever have to know again in your entire lives.

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    32. it is time there is a nationwide "teacher's flu" to not report to work during testing. Simple. Non-Violent. Peaceful Resistance. Today we celebrate the 50 years ago when Martlin Luther King spoke in Orlando, Florida. Time to energize that- for the children.

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    33. I don't think Arlene would like my answer to number 8!!!! I'll just remain mute!

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    34. Can I ask which state you teach in?

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    35. Oh my gosh! Somebody who understands!! Thanks!
      ;-)

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    36. Relax and contract your gluteus maximus 300 times!

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    37. I am not a math teacher, but I always create and solve math problems in my head - what percentage of students is/has male, female, pony tails, black shoes, black jackets, etc.

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    38. I count the number of kids wearing stripes or a color or socks or laces or...and I see who has used one pencils or both pencils. You can also squeeze your buttocks for exercise. I've been known to walk in designs around the room and make new patterns. I love your suggestions!

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    39. One year I proctored in a room that had photos of each president on the walls. Over the course of a week I memorized the names & order of all 43 presidents.

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    40. It's a good time to pray silently. There is time enough to say several rosaries. Seriously!

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    41. I volunteer to administer the testing for students with modification (I read out loud the questions and answer choices on the Math test and the answer choices on the Reading). I'm too busy to get bored!

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    42. Just a thought...you said there would be 20 tips but there were only 16.. :)
      I needed these yesterday, because we not only do the entire standardized testing, we also do 2 different practice days. UH!

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    43. I get to proctor one kid, extended time, for 2 days....ah!! He may morph into several animals next week

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    44. There are so many ways in our state that you can get a "misadministration" of the test. My 6th graders think all the rules are insane, but they take them seriously. One boy asked me if I was going to a misdemeanor if I forgot to the phone on Do Not Disturb!

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    45. I'm pretty sure I'd rather get pooped on by a bird as long as it happened immediately when I walked outside. I could have a like poo-poncho or something I always wear and just leave it at the door. Plus, I'd probably get some media coverage that I may be able make some sweet mula on! Cha-ching! In conclusion, the poop pays for itself.

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    46. 1. Would you rather fart green smoke or have one arm twice the length of the other?
      2. Would you rather have stinky feet for hands or sneeze globs of blue mucus every time?
      3. Would you rather walk around at school with a tear in your pants or without a bra on? (sorry men, this one's no fun for you)
      4. Would you rather run for 24 hours straight or walk for a week straight?
      5. Would you rather your face grew hair like a man's hairy legs or your ears produced purple ear wax at an unusually fast rate, causing you to have to clean them out every 30mins or so?

      Perfect day ever.... to start with, calories, sugar, and carbs would all count positively towards body image (i.e. would burn fat and tone muscle, just by eating them). I would not necessarily sleep in, because this is perfect day ever.... you have time to sleep in tomorrow. Eat a hearty breakfast of pancakes, blueberry muffins with the sugary streusel, yogurt parfait w/ granola, and an omelet...... as for the rest of the day, I'll come up with that during round 1 of state tests. I'll post it here afterwards (if I remember).. :)

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    47. I've taken #12 to the point of inventing a a blowgun, using the hollow shell of an ink pen, a straightened paperclip, and a small wad of moist tissue. Zombies beware!

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    48. What a great post! I quit teaching 2 years ago, but just had a nightmare about standardized tests last week. (They never end, apparently.) I had planned on writing about this very topic on my blog. Hope it's it ok if I include a link to yours? Thanks for sharing. :)

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    49. I want to thank you for your blog! I am a young journalist who is applying for an alternative teacher certification program to teach middle school language arts in a low-income, high-need rural clasroom. Your blog is eye-opening and hilarious. I've read the whole thing in the last two days and I've been giggling nonstop.

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    50. Great suggestions, but I would never do the workout. It would make me too sore for the second day. I too have estimated the dimensions of rooms to keep from being bored.

      Best day ever would be on a tropical island beach with my granddaughters playing in the sand and my husband and kids lounging nearby. We would build sandcastles and have tropical drinks delivered right to the beach. The day would start with a late morning buffet breakfast with all kinds of tropical fruits and a variety of baked goods. For lunch, a picnic hamper complete with a variety of cheese, breads, and fruits would be delivered right to the beach. We would end the day with a lovely dinner on the patio of our beach house while fireworks exploded over the nearby waterfront. For dinner we would have Caesar salad, lobster for the main course, and a choice of pots du creme or creme brulee.

      For the would you rather question, I would choose to smell a fart all the time and not have super bad breath.

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    51. I pretended I was a robot and walked around the room like one. I refrained from making the mechanical noises, however. One year, I kept moving one of my student's pencil from one end of the pencil tray on her desk to the other. After it was over, she said it was a riot. P.S. And when I go to publish it, it says "Type in the numbers to prove you're not a robot!"

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    52. I CAN'T stop laughing at the sneezing/muffin Would You Rather!

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    53. This is a recording," Whenever you see a Go On Arrow at the bottom of the page, turn the page and keep working. Continue working until you come to a STOP sign. You must stop when you come to the STOP sign."

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    54. You All Are Making Me Appreciate My 2nd Month Of Retirement More Than Ever!
      Good Luck To Everyone.
      Another Ploy: Try Thinking Of All Of The People You Would Want To Be In A Dunking Booth, Beginning With All Of THe Politicians That Started All Of this.

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    55. same as i do for the more boring inservice trainings: kegels.

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    56. I mentally planned out my herbal garden, my flower garden and my vegetable garden... I envisioned myself slender and the variety of new outfits I would wear and what people would say when they saw me, I envisioned myself visiting all of the travel destinations that I've longed to go on... All of these were kinda like a mental "vision board"... law of attraction, ya know :)

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    57. I pray several rosaries too. Our students never know how many times I pray for them and our faculty/staff.

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    58. I count the ceiling tiles down to the nearest fraction, and convert to decimals. I didn't know the world of imagination that I've missed out on!

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    59. You are wonderful, it is really days of mind numbing Hell!

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    60. I spent one test-taking session memorizing the students' names. After collecting, securing, returning ALL the tests, we found ourselves waiting on students in other rooms. I told them what I had done and went through all their names. Then, I told them to switch seats while I stepped outside. I went back in --- and still knew their names. I looked AWESOME to a bunch of teenagers.

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    61. Make constellations from the dots on the ceiling tiles. I totally did this when I was bedridden after surgery when I was nine.

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    62. I haven't read all the comments, so maybe this has already been mentioned, but at our school, we are also not allowed any food or water during the 4 hour testing session - or worse: NO COFFEE!
      Luckily, I am only proctoring for 2 of those hours this week.
      On a more serious note: as torturous as these sessions are, your suggestions here are valuable mind exercises and maybe more people (and their imaginations) would benefit from these fantasies/conundrums instead of more iPhone time.
      Thank you for good suggestions - they will be employed tomorrow in our ACT session!

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    63. OK, I actually did this. You know, they never tell you HOW to read the directions....soooooo... I decided to read them as a dramatic Shakespearian actress. Woke all the students up!

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      1. Me too! I also read the list of rules adding "thou shalt not..."

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      2. This is hilarious! I wish more teachers would do this!

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      3. By the time we hit the third round of retakes for graduating seniors (who have heard the instructions dozens of times and can probably recite them along with me), I say "No, I don't think you're stupid, the law says I have to read every word exactly as they have it written. Here goes:" and do it as fast as I can.

        They love it. By the time you're a senior in high school hearing: "use the back arrow to go back to previous question and use the next arrow to go to the next question" is really pretty unnecessary.

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    64. My co-workers and I did a few things on this list... It was hilarious to see one of them slam some ankle weights onto the table and say "I'M READY."

      Thanks for the awesome ideas, haha!

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    65. Just wanted to say thanks…these are great. 3 Years ago I wrote a memoirs of state testing and sent it out to the teachers daily at the end of testing. Now…every year they say they are anxiously awaiting the next years memoirs. My kids aren't as "interesting" this year and I have been able to share your wonderful suggestions! :)

      Here is an example! :)
      2012 Testing Memoirs
      There were two boys fighting in the bathroom this morning before testing. WHAT? Those two boys haven’t put all of their differences aside to come together to show the state, the nation, and themselves just how much they have “gained” this year? No, I’m not talking about the new tattoo, dime bag, 3 suspensions, and beating from the abusive dad they gained this year. I’m talking about the knowledge and skills they find so relevant in their lives that they can’t wait to share it on the NMSBA.
      Day 1
      Session I
      It’s nice and cool in my room. Perfect Testing Conditions! 2 perfectly sharpened pencils per student. I get to read the same instructions over and over again. “Does everyone understand?” Students begin vigorously writing and reading. It’s quiet in here. Eerily quiet. Yet here is Mr. McKinney…roaming around the room…around and around…like a caged animal wishing it was stalking it’s prey. What is they prey? Any abnormality of course!! Any wrong session, anyone who hasn’t stopped at the all powerful STOP box, ANYONE who looks, thinks, or acts like doing anything other than Reading Session I.
      Session II
      One of my students has brought her purple reading glasses. I haven’t seen her with glasses all year. Wait! That’s because she has missed 80 days this year. At least her sight is ready and dialed in for the test…I’m sure missing half the school year won’t lower her scores. If it does however it will obviously be my fault as her teacher!
      I see a student with his head down on the table and his leg bouncing in an obviously ADHD fashion. If it weren’t for his leg however I might think he was sleeping with his eyes open. Wish I could figure out how to do that so when someone peeks in my window during testing it would as if I was fastidiously watching over my classroom while sleeping. Hmmm…something to work on!
      Till Tomorrow! Happy Testing!

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      1. Looooved this!! Keep writing!

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      2. I enjoyed these! thank you!

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    66. One thing I didn't see on the list that would be really meaningful to do....would be to pray for the students. Pray for the ones you know and for the ones you don't know. Also you could pray for the school, other teachers, administrators, etc.

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      1. Pray that I get sick and can leave!

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      2. I strive to pray for each student for at least 3 minutes. God guides my thoughts for students I don't know. That makes the first hour go fast. When doing modifications I pray for every one I can think of! I also were sweaters with pockets so I can have peanut m&m's and sneak them, one at a time trying to see how long it takes to melt to the peanut.

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    67. This cracked me up. :) Love it.

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    68. 6/9 of my next days work be testing... oh my goodness... I need about 20 more ideas! Then a Week off and 3 more days of testing...

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    69. I tend to get really frustrated about 45 minutes in.. and then I take the time to look at each individual student and realize that everyone has something different going on in their lives and in their brains. Then I try to think about what types of things might be troubling someone their age, and after I've done that I try to imagine what each one might become when they grow up. It would be more fun if I ever got to test my own students though :)

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    70. Kegels, anyone?

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    71. Carry a teensy pencil and a teensy notepad and furtively write poetry--good poetry.

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    72. I'm a "hall monitor" around the temporary buildings at our junior high, except there really aren't any "halls" outside. There's just me, the covered walkway, the occasional kid, admin ninjas who only come around when I have my phone out, and the cows across the street (the cows didn't even moo today! Day ruined). Our district doesn't let us do anything but sit there and eat, although some quick phone checking, doodling, and list writing may have occurred surreptitiously. I'm supposed to relieve teachers for about 5 minutes at a time. That happened 5 times today. The rest of the time, it's just me and my thoughts in a desk. Needless to say, I think I now have a pretty good idea how to build a low-budget covered walkway!

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    73. I don't get it....so many of you said that you are NOT proctoring this year????? How is that possible when there are so many groups with test mods????? Hmmmmm............

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    74. My best day ever will be the day they put an end to all of the testing nonsense. I'm a special education teacher. I have already proctored for 6 days for the PARCC field test, then I had midterm exams, and after SPirng break I will be proctoring for four...weeks....straight!!!!!!!

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    75. I would rather get pooped on by the bird because I can wipe it off and get on with my day! It also helps me be thankful for wetwipes!

      I would love to spend the day with my deceased dad, my new husband, my mom, kids, and grandkids fishing and hanging out! My new husband and dad would get along great, and it would have been great for them to be in my life at the same time. He was very special!

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    76. I love hoop-dancing, and I make up hula-hoop routines in my head to various songs. This year, I'm going with songs from different decades each day: Monday is Bubblegum 60's, Tuesday is Disco 70's, Wednesday is Neon 80's...etc.
      This would work for any type of dancing, or anything that can be performed to music actually.
      It's also fun to go home after school and see if I can truly perform the routine physically the way I planned it out in my head. (I'm usually WAY better in my head than I am in real life...) :-)

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    77. Just found your blog and LOVE this post and well all of your posts so far. I generally break my window up with tasks, at 30 minutes I will eat a snack, at 1 hour I will give them a snack, at 2 hours I will make a seating chart. Your list is so much more interesting and regardless of my upcoming testing assignment I will be now comparing their faces to animal faces. Priceless.

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    78. When I was in graduate school I was fortunate enough to be a graduate assistant in the office that coordinated all major standardized testing (ACT, MCAT, LSAT, TOEFL, etc..) for a major university. There were far more people wanting to proctor these tests (they pay REALLY well) than there were tests to proctor so there was a rotating list and if your name was up on a given weekend you got a call. Since I worked in the office that coordinated these tests I was able to work any and all tests I chose. It was a good supplement to my income but it has to be experienced to understand how frustratingly boring it is!!

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    79. This is great! I watch the question numbers the students are on provide espn-like commentary in my head as they compete to finish!

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    80. My first year proctoring, I passed the time by watching a third grade girl EAT HER SCRATCH PAPER. She would tear off a piece, then eat it...wait a little while, then do it again. When I had to collect the scratch paper at the end of the test, I asked her where hers was (knowing good and well that she ATE IT), and she just shrugged her shoulders and looked at me.

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    81. Last time I proctored a test I said an entire rosary while I walked around the room watching the students. I have also recited (in my head, of course) countries and capitals by continent. I love your ideas though!

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    82. If I had to choose between mistaking muffins for babies or changing genders, I'd definitely be mistaking muffins for babies for the rest of my life. For one, I don't really like muffins. I do like babies, but...well, I'm okay to let other people who CAN differentiate between them be the matronly type. Besides, I rather like being a woman. I think my boyfriend likes it, too.

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    83. We start testing this week, and rereading this post helped me feel like I can do something while pacing the room. We were even told we can wear sneakers during testing this year! Hooray!

      We were also told our students are not allowed to read when they are done (this is new), so your post inspired me to come up with a list of things for students to do after testing while sitting silently: http://mrswilsonscience.com/stretchingforward/imagination-games-20-ways-to-fight-post-standardized-test-boredom/

      Thanks for the ideas!

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    84. We start tomorrow. Thanks for the ideas! I also plan on writing haiku poetry in my head and making up testing verses to Leonard Cohen's song "Hallelujah." I'm thinking something along the lines of, "I've never been this bored before / I'm watching tiles upon the floor / But I would never want to misconstrue 'ya / ..."

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    85. Thanks for making proctoring a little less horrible now that I have all these great ideas....

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    86. The first time I proctored a police test nobody bothered to tell me that current officers were allowed to carry their guns while taking the test. I almost had a heart attack. So glad I spent most of my professional career with kids under 5 although there are signs that this nonsense is oozing its way into preschool.

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    87. One word: Kegels.

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    88. I mentally move all the furniture in my room, planning for the next school year. Sometimes I'll even count the squares on my floor to judge the size of the piece of furniture and and use that to see if the piece will fit where I'm thinking about moving it. Also, I redecorate it in my mind and dream up what my theme is going to be for the next year.

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    89. These things are hilarious indeed. Certainly it'll be fun practicing these things out. I'm glad to find such ways. Thanks.

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    90. I walk around and memorize the full names of each student, most of whom I have never seen before. When the teacher leaves to turn in the tests, I freak them out by calling them by name. If they give me attitude, I use their middle name too. They never seem to figure out that their name are written at the top of their tests.

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    91. I proctored/administered tests pretttttttty much every day in May. It was the worst, like your blog said. Another method I used:
      1) I rewrote songs, changing the lyrics to how much I hate testing. (Side note, I live in VA where we are not on Common Core, but we have the Standards of Learning - SOLs. SOL was a great acronym for my songs about hating testing.)

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    92. I wish I had seen this before three mind-numbing exam sessions. I've done the exercising the leg muscles, and the kids think it is hysterical. These are great!

      LAW

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