14 Reasons Why I Will Die Alone

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Most of the time, I love being a single gal teaching in a big city.

But sometimes, like this week, I take a look at my life and realize that I will probably die alone and that my body will be eaten by coyotes.

Because it's Tuesday and everyone knows that Tuesdays are for whining, I give you:

14 Reasons Why I Will Die Alone

1) I don't go out anymore because I'm tired all the time. If I do happen to be persuaded to venture out beyond the confines of my apartment, car, and classroom, I'm usually:
  • With a pack of other teachers 
  • Wearing my faculty shirt that has a giant paw print on it
  • Sporting stray pen marks and dry erase marker ruboff on my arms because I erase my white board with my forearms now, like a Neanderthal
  • Yawning at 8:00 and telling anyone who will listen how I'd rather be in my pajamas
Line up, fellas.

2) I for sure won't meet anyone at school. The male teachers at my school are either:
  • Married
  • Have caught me whispering to my clothing
  • Have said the following words to me, "Did you forget your comb today? Haha. Relax, I'm just kidding. I actually think your hair looks nice like that."
  • Also crazy and our offspring would be genetically forced into a disturbing brand of weird
  • Maybe too normal, which says a lot about how weird I've become
3) I basically have been controlling my own life for the past several years now, and I'm not sure I could handle not being in control anymore. Isn't that an attractive quality?

4) I bought these plastic mystical ponies at Target tonight.


What? Why? I have no answers to these questions.

5) See my fingernails in the above picture.

6) Because I live in a large city, I've learned to walk with a sense of purpose so that strange men don't approach me to say gross things. However, I am now so good at this that NOBODY approaches me.

7) These are my recently used emojis:



8) I have limited interaction with the male species due to my schedule, so when I am around a guy that is even marginally attractive or nice to me, my body betrays me and I can't stop giggling, sweating, or saying super weird things like facts about dolphins that I learned from a podcast P.S. it's this one and it's amazing.

9) Looking cute is time-consuming, expensive, and I give up. My student teacher has offered to help me, so that's hopeful. I told her I may have time next March.

10) I am too afraid to have kids anymore. I used to want to crank out so many kids it would require some kind of commune to raise them all, but teaching has made me realize that kids, while lovely, are mostly just fragile and dangerous creatures. They're basically walking Ziploc bags full of organs that sass you sometimes. Also, I blame my lack of interest on my pregnant coworkers and their absolutely horrifying daily updates on what pregnancy does to your body. Thanks for nothing, pregnant coworkers!


11) My standards are warped because of my literature man crushes, which may be the dorkiest thing ever typed in human history.

12) I'm looking into taking a quilting class at the suggestion of my pen pal.

13) I just believe that the above sentence should probably count twice in my list of reasons I will die alone.

14) Someone has been lingering outside my window listening to the radio on speakerphone for the past several minutes. So I may actually die alone tonight.

I know that I won't really die alone-- I'm just being dramatic. I'll die surrounded by my books, my lifelong companions.

 Love,

Teach



124 comments:

  1. I really really really want you to find that guy who appreciates your complete awesomeness. When I figure out where the heck he is, I will warn him of your adorable sweatiness and send him your way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Kim! Glad to have you in my corner :)

      Just realized my sweatiness still applies in the boxing metaphor! Hooray!

      Delete
    2. you sound like just the girl for me, however i realize that because of the world we live in me simply replying to your post in an environment like this makes me sound weird. i just want to say i hope i'm lucky enough to meet a girl like you one day and i wish you all the luck and happiness in the world.

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  2. You are too funny to die alone and will someday meet someone who understands your delightful sense of humor! I could write a 53-year-old divorced teacher's version of this post and it would not even be half as entertaining, although I too like to be in my pajamas by 8 p.m.! Keep calm, teach on, stay hopeful, and just wait and watch for your modern-day Mr. Darcy!
    ~Jennifer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You really are the best, JReyn!!!! *hugs*

      Delete
  3. Or, you could meet the man of your dreams on an online dating service as I did at age 48. We were not only teaching the same subject and grade level in different districts, we were both members of the same local organizations, had tickets to the same conferences, had the same books and music on the shelves (aside from his Grateful Dead collection) and we had gone to the same college at the same time in the '70's, 800 miles from where we met. We married 7 years ago. Now we will die together, buried under an avalanche of Scantrons and IEP notices.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's quite unusual! You are a lucky woman! I was once 48, but alas, a generation has passed. Something Eddie Kendricks said a while back has become my mantra now, 'Keep on truckin', baby!'

      Delete
  4. This made me laugh. Loudly.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You are the funniest person on the Internet. No way you are allowed to be alone forevs. Just put a mystical pony under your pillow and dream of the perfect, appropriately weird Prince Charming just for you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Um, heck yeah. I agree with all of this. You have to be a really special person to want kids after working with kids all day. Like can I handle taking care of another human being? Probably not. Can you really find a guy who's better than books? No, not that I've seen.

    Please read the Grisha Trilogy (Shadow and Bone, Storm and Siege, and Ruin and Rising) by Leigh Bardugo. I'd love to fangirl with you and like a bunch of other people about it, but NO ONE I KNOW READS IT. Le sigh.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Just wanted to say that I love your blog. This was hysterical. I am a first-year teacher, and I wanted sooooo badly to start a blog, chronically my middle school adventures. Guess what? I have no time. In fact, its almost 10pm, and I have yet to eat an actual meal today. And I have a lesson to plan. And.....nevermind. So keep up the awesome work and thanks for making me smile :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. I never think blogs are funny and I am literally laughing so hard. I wish I wasn't in your same boat but I definitely am but at least you can laugh at yourself :) Seriously, hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Bahahaha! It's my life! Thanks for the tears of laughter this morning!

    ReplyDelete
  10. I can definitely relate to this list. It's just after 9 here. I didn't get around to eating dinner until 8, which consisted of eggs because I was starving and lacking the patience for anything that took longer than 5 minutes. My right hand is full of ink from grading endless stacks of tests with my beloved flair pens (seriously... it's an addiction) despite the fact that I've showered and washed my hands like eleventy bajillion times since getting home from school. I'm in PJs the second I walk in the door, so please, no one ask me go out to dinner or anything else "fun" after work, please!

    Ok... my eyes are burning... time for bed!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I feel like you have just written about my life. I am currently sitting at my desk wondering what excuse I can use to get out of a Robbie Williams concert tonight because I. Am. Just. Too. Tired.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Lordy, we are kindred spirits. LOL

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is my fifth year teaching and I am in the same exact boat! However, instead of buying ponies in the Target One Spot I bought the Frozen headbands...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I needed a new IPhone case and bought the $2.50 My Little Pony one having never seen an episode in my life and not knowing what it really was until I looked it up later.

      Delete
  14. We both have the same reasons for thinking we'll never have kids, too many stories from pregnant co-workers! That and I witnessed both of my nephews' births. It cannot be unseen...

    ReplyDelete
  15. I'm not nearly as funny as you are, but I can completely empathize with this blog post!

    ReplyDelete
  16. 1) You could put a few of those magical ponies on top of your desktop at school, or as little guardians of the pencil sharpener! Or just put them in weird places in your apartment, forget about them, and smile when you find one in your sock drawer three months later.

    2) Please watch the classic "Bridget Jones's Diary" if you haven't already. It is almost as funny as you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
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      Delete
  17. this is me! and I found an incredible guy, better than the books, *at work* on a Saturday because yes I love my job so much that I was there doing manual labor over the weekend.

    ReplyDelete
  18. This is hilarious - however I think you just described me!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. So I just listened to the dolphin podcast. Totally sucked me in. I can't wait for a lull in some future conversation.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I absolutely adored this post! Thanks for making me laugh and nod along with you!
    Erin
    Short and Sassy Teacher

    ReplyDelete
  21. Well friend, while we both might die alone, I am relieved to know I won't be the only one doing it. A few notes from this side: at the elementary school I work at there literally are no men and the guy who delivers bread to the cafeteria is looking better by the day. Also, I would have to add a number 15 about the fact that I talk so much that I think I am developing a diagnosable stutter- so that's exciting. Just wanted you to know you're not alone in being crazy and alone. Keep fighting the good fight and such!

    ReplyDelete
  22. I feel all of this things. All of them. I refuse to get a cat because I know then it's really the end. Also, now I want my own bag of Mystical Ponies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I, too, am all of those things AND I have cats so I guess I really am destined to .....you know......

      Delete
  23. Loved reading this, you made me laugh. A lot.

    ReplyDelete
  24. This is so hilarious! I tried to read it to my daughter, who is currently getting her credential, but I couldn't stop laughing! #5 and #13 are the best!

    ReplyDelete
  25. O-M-G, this is me! I've been teaching for 9 years at the elementary level and everything on this list is me! What is really going to seal my #foreveralone deal is the bossiness factor--I like it MY way!! & the talking to myself probably doesn't help or the crazy post-its everywhere...thanks for the lolz. PS-totally buying those ponies to put in my prize box!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Thanks for a fun Friday morning laugh! Hide the plastic ponies and you will be fine!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I am married and still do all these things! Plus you will always have your weirdo, loving army of kiddos, and therefore, you shall never be alone.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Not only are you the funniest thing on the Internet, your readers are pretty hilarious, too. You will not die alone because my son is your perfect match...is 22 too young? Well, almost 22. But he acts like 35, so that should count for something.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Are you me? Did I write this? If your students were kindergarteners I would think I sleep-write or something.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you wearing no pants right now and drinking coffee and eating an English muffin off a plate that features a French man saying, "Bonsoir"? If so, are definitely in some time-space-continuum glitch!

      Delete
  30. Can relate to all of that especially the fingernails.Sharing with other teacher friends.

    ReplyDelete
  31. Why are we not best friends? We're basically the same person. Yes to all of the above. I literally went out last night (for the first outing in weeks) with my teacher friends, wearing a paw print school shirt because I didn't have time to go hone and change. Also, to add to the male co-worker thing. .. The only single male at school uses it as his personal dating service and he's already locked on to the third grade teacher who is much younger and more put together. Haha. Keep writing, I love it!

    ReplyDelete
  32. There's always the summer!

    I had resigned myself to being alone for many of the reasons you enumerate here. Then I met my now husband at a pirate festival over the summer.

    On our first date, I was so nervous I got into info dump mode, and regaled him with facts like "The Colorado River doesn't reach the ocean anymore." He ended up finding me fascinating.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Love it. Same life but I'm married for 26 years. (My husband is jealous of my students).

    ReplyDelete
  34. I teach middle school science & recently bought grow maggots for my students. How attractive is that? Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I teach high school and bought my students duckweed^^

      Delete
  35. OMG. YOU ARE SO HILARIOUS!! WE ALL THINK WE ARE YOU!! From a 1st Grade teacher: Why don't they just build dorms @ the schools & then we could save time, trouble. & fuel!! Married but seems like to mountains of work instead of my husband! I spend more time THERE or on work I brought home from THERE. Didn't use to be like this~~ What happened?? Missing the old days. It's still an AmaZing fun job but..... If I wasn't already married it would never happen!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God Bless Edward Jones Loans for Helping Me In Time Of Need {Jonesloanfinance@yahoo.com}

      Good Day I am Vanessa Cowen from California and i have a broken up business, until i found this company who help me to gain a loan for business, and now i want to used this short medium to congratulate the company for the fast and safe funds they loan to me without any form of delay, i loan 180,000.00USD from the company at a very low interest rate of 2% to save my business and lots more. i first saw their mail on the internet, everyone always give testimony for what they did, so i quickly contacted them and they all did everything for me without stress and my funds was sent to my account within 24hrs, i was surprise and feel glad, now i now have a standard business control agent who help me, now i will advice those who need urgent loan to contact them now via email : {jonesloanfinance@yahoo.com} OR Text him +1(302) 400-5278

      Delete
  36. I just read this to my husband (we're both teachers). He asked, "Is this the same person who posted all her thoughts from back to school night?" "Yes." "She's so funny!" "Yes." "She should have someone who loves her. Funny people deserve that."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. DAHHH, so sweet! Tell your husband thanks a lot for making me cry. :)

      Delete
  37. This made me laugh out loud today. ��

    ReplyDelete
  38. I'm in school planning to be a teacher and I feel like this already describes so much of my life. At least you can pull the "I'm a teacher" excuse for buying random things at Target. I can't do that yet so would someone please explain to me why I always come home with random stationary and pens? Maybe I'll color with them while listening to that dolphin podcast.

    ReplyDelete
  39. It's ok. The people with the poo emoji in their most recent (preferably top 10) are the only people that can be my friends.

    ReplyDelete
  40. I felt like I had to come back and comment on this post. Not long after I first read this, I found those mystical ponies in Target and immediately bought them, because how could I not? But I would just like to say that I ended up using them as math manipulatives for one of my students (I teach high school students with moderate to severe disabilities), and had a complete breakthrough with her counting skills. Never doubt the power of impulse buys at Target.

    ReplyDelete
  41. FYI,dating the male version. I think its cute when he comes home covered in marker, impressive that he knows more princesses than myself, still in awe over his excitement about lesson plans, we hang out at home and usually watch the end of every movie alone because he's asleep by 9:30, I
    dont see him for a week at a timedue to grading papers, standardized tests, etc. Wouldn't trade him for anything, I'm so in awe of his love for teaching! You'll find that guy, dont worry :)

    ReplyDelete
  42. Just finished reading your entry and all the comments. So funny. I retired after teaching for 37 years. Before I retired I never went away for the weekend without at least one stack of papers. I told my husband that if I died to put the papers in my coffin and I would get to them eventually. Keep smiling.

    ReplyDelete
  43. I married my PLC partner teacher and life is awesome! We get to ride to work together, gossip about co-workers, giggle at inside jokes during meetings and generally have a blast teaching the same subject together. We did have a daughter of our own who is three, so we both give each other breaks when some alone time is needed. We also encourage each other to leave the papers at work, grade using rubrics to cut down on comments (this really helps with five sections of 11th and 12th English, all at 40-42 students per class), and dedicate our time at home to our family. But I also laughed so hard at your blog because I didn't meet my teacher-prince charming until almost twenty years of teaching passed by, and knew I would die alone because the lack of time or energy for a social life, and the fact that the ratio of women to men in education works against the ladies. But it finally happened. I guess the moral to this story is that guys should actively seek out teachers to date. So many of us are fantastically fun, super intelligent and very nurturing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good advice on guys dating teachers, but once you're retired, it's a different world. 32 years, it's hard to believe it's over! But one must move on...

      Delete
  44. Hahahahha that's so sad. And funny

    ReplyDelete
  45. So sharing this on my FB page so that my non-teacher friends get me just a little better and realize I am not the only one out there that does the "crazy" things that I do-thanks :)

    ReplyDelete
  46. There is a really good chance you are my long lost twin. This was EXACTLY on mark and hilarious! :D

    ReplyDelete
  47. Two words,,, online dating. Try plenty of fish.

    ReplyDelete
  48. L-O-L. Yes, I too could have written this! Sort of comforting, in an odd way, to know I'm not the only one!!

    ReplyDelete
  49. No. 6 . That's me right there, except sometimes I have my headphones on and am singing to myself.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Funny post I was feeling self doubt and pity after never having a REAL relationship after 26 years of life. This article is funny and laughing about life is what is most important. I have literally never fallen in love nor has
    anyone loved me. I have had a lot of meanlingless sex which always makes me feel depressed afterwards and reminds me of how truly lonely I am. The women who I do like end up ditching me. My heart is caliced. I don't feel the pain of heartbreak anymore, only mild disappointments.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Crap, I have those same ponies!!! We need to start an retirement home for old teachers so we won't have to die alone... we can just die with other crazy teacher people!

    ReplyDelete
  52. This is the same problem I have! I blogged about it once too, how NO ONE wants to hear about curriculum standards or behavior problems or that one time my student said the funniest thing ever (!!). I recently went on a date where he asked me if I have heard of IN-VEST-MENTS. Real slow and loud like I was hard of hearing. When I remarked that I was not stupid, he replied, "well youre justa kindergarten teacher so I didn't know." THANKS.

    My teaching experience sounds very similar to yours, I am glad I found your blog!

    Meredith
    The Big Apple Teacher

    ReplyDelete
  53. I love this post! I could definitely relate to most of it :) Netflix is my best friend and hubby. Thanks for sharing!

    ReplyDelete
  54. In my 28th year of teaching, at the age of 50, I met the world's most gentle, loving, generous, and wonderful man. He praises me all the time for the work I do, and all that goes into it. I knew he was a keeper! We just married less than three weeks ago. You deserve someone equally wonderful and understanding of the thug life of a teacher! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  55. You are so funny. I truly didn't think I would meet someone in my town either. Then, in the middle of a strike, he and I met... on the side of the road. Totally unexpected and wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Glad I found this blog... I have laughed like crazy. Looking forward to reading more entries when it's not 12:20 am... Must get in bed -- my homeroom will be waiting for me bright and early Monday morning.

    ReplyDelete
  57. I'm in my 20s and I don't know how worried you actually are about dying alone (and this post is really old [congratulations on 5 years of teaching! This year have been my fifth if I hadn't chosen to stop after three years of Title I teaching and moving to a different state.]). In year 3 I knew that teaching was not going to lend itself to any situation where I could meet anybody due to the perpetual teacher clothing/look and the teacher walk if I ever did make it out, which was never with having 6 different preps each day spanning 3 subjects, so I was resigned to weekends and evenings of working late at school or working late at home. One night, I happened to choose school because of its less chaotic state bypassing the risk of the papers becoming part of a growing fire hazard in the corner of my living room when these guys came in to change the light bulbs. For some reason, one of them wanted to talk to the crazy girl still at work 3 hours after "work" was over surrounded by a pile of papers with peeling nail polish. Of course, this was the first time anyone had asked me out in three years, so when he did, all I could do was giggle and tell him I was really busy with no time but that he smelled really good, which didn't make any sense because he was working. Of course, I had been around middle school kids all day everyday and we were still standing in a classroom that had been overly crowded with middle school children for most of the day, so his personal scent was amazing in comparison. I also told him some weird tidbit inspired by one of my informative posters on the wall, which is something else most normal people do not say in a flirtatious moment I'm sure. But somehow I found a spot for him by telling him I was planning on watching the high school football game that Friday because some of my cheerleaders would be there and he said we should have dinner first and he'd go with me. Now we are engaged so you never know. I wish you the best this year at your more affluent school.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Hahhhaha..its your dramatic thinking only..don't worry you will not die alone you have a lovely student around you....
    Well in your place call DEVOLSON but in my place call DEVOLSOND...huhuhu..its because I being audit by supervisor.. Huhuhu

    ReplyDelete
  59. MARRIAGE RESTORED! My wife pack out of the house with my kids and said she was no longer interested in me anymore. She said all the abusive words and said am not a good husband because I wasn't working, instead I was wasting her time, so i contacted this Strong spell caster DR OLO'R'UN a week ago after reading Miracles about his spell over the net, I consulted him for a love spell, crying not knowing what to do. He told me that he will cast a lover spell for me so my wife will come back to me. After 4 days of casting the spell, my wife call me apologizing and begging me to come home. The tender that i was waiting for was approved and he started telling me that am a good husband that I must forgive her for the bad things she had said. Am thanking DR OLO'R'UN for the Faith and Trust he showed me. if any body is out there passing through any relationship difficulties should kindly contact him via email: OLORUNODUDUWASPIRITUAL@GMAIL.COM

    ReplyDelete
  60. Hello every body my name is Synder Anderson I just want to share my experience with the world on how Lord Alika help me, I got my love back and saved my marriage… I was married for 3 years with 1 kid and we lived happily until things started getting ugly and we had fights and argued almost e very time… it got worse at a point that he filed for divorce I tried my best to make him change his mind & stay with me because I love him so much and don’t want to lose him but everything just didn’t work out… he moved out of the house because it was a rented apartment and still went ahead to file for divorce… I pleaded and tried everything but still nothing worked. The breakthrough came when someone introduced me to this wonderful, great spell caster who eventually helped me out… I have never been a fan of things like this but just decided to try reluctantly because I was desperate and left with no choice… He did special prayers and used his power… Within 4 days my husband called me and he said he was sorry for all the emotional pains he had cost me, moved back to the house and we continue to live happily and our kid is happy too and we are expecting our second child… and my Husband also got a new job and our lives became much better web:http://lordalikaspelltemp8.wix.com/http I have introduced him to a lot of couples with problems across the world and they have had good news..contact him on lordalikaspelltemple@yahoo.co.uk or +13217666393. web:http://lordalikaspelltemp8.wix.com/http

    ReplyDelete
  61. This has really worked and I am proud to testify of it. I saw a post on how a lady got her man back by Dr. Trust who helped her to get her Ex Husband back. My relationship was crashed down for 3 good years and some months. Although I never believed in spiritual work I reluctantly tried him because I was desperate but to my greatest surprise Dr. Trust helped me to bring back my man and now my relationship is now perfect just as he promised. Getting your ex back permanently spell does not only bring back someone you love back,but it will also re-ignite your lovers feelings for you to be as happy with that person as possible. My man now treats me like a queen and always say he love me all the time. If you are passing through difficulties in your relationship Email him for urgent help.

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    ReplyDelete
  62. My name is Florence i want to testify how a spell caster save my home after 4yrs of marriage! I am gonna make this brief, it all happens like a dream come true. 2 months ago someone introduce me to this spell caster i never believe in spells until i gave it a second thought thinking about the past loneliness i have been through without my husband, the bbq fun together, the beach party, Halloween, Christmas etc. I don't want to be lonely this year all i wanted is to celebrate this up coming Christmas with my family. I made up my mind to contact the Spell Caster (Dr. Pepper Jnr), i contacted him and he gave me courage that i am gonna have my husband back home if i believe. He said he came to America to help people get back all they have lost, reunite broken homes and many more!!! I under-go the procedures and he told me and said after 7 days my husband is gonna call me. I said to my self that this not gonna happen, this is a man who haven't called me for more than 3yrs "lol". Kind of funny anyway, on the 8th day cant believe i got a call from an unknown number saying "Honey is me Ken" WOW! that was a miracle.. My husband is back home and even bought me a golden jewelry to prove how sorry he is to have left me all alone in these past years. I am so Bliss words alone cannot express the joy in my heart so i promise him i am gonna share this testimony to the world of his great powers. He just take over from his late father, His powers is so genuine, he is honest and very encouraging... HE also specializes on; Pregnancy spell to conceive baby, If you want your husband/wife to be yours forever, If you tired of being lonely and single and so mush more. Always saying YES to you needs....

    Note: You can also communicate with him on live video cam if you wish and to also see some of his magical powers.

    He is new here in America just start 5 months ago and people have started testifying of his great works, don't be left out. Contact him today via e-mail:

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    You can as well contact me for more info at my mobile number: +1(256)206-3112 Please text only cause i cant discuss about that because of my husband.

    Regards
    Florence

    ReplyDelete
  63. My husband left me and our daughter two weeks ago and is already dating a girl he just met three months ago and has only been hanging out with her for the two weeks he has been gone. She is also married with two kids of her own. They claim to be moving in together but she basically spend every night with him at his motel he is staying at till they can get their own place. My husband has no license and therefore I have to give him a ride to and from work everyday Because his new "gf" still gives her husband a ride and they all work together. When he is around me he acts like there is no problem and we should just talk like nothing is going on. He completely ignores me any time I say anything about our marriage, never really gives me a straight answer other than its been over for a long time yet we hardly ever fault, we were still very much having sex at least two to three times every 2 weeks. We got in to a fight one night and the next he left and moved in to a hotel and then instantly this married woman was there with him every night and they basically only been talking on the phone through fb for like a month. Out of jealousy and so much pain inside of me I had to go on a personal research how i can get him back into our marriage again. But i was recommended to a genius real spell man Muna is his name http://marvelspelltemple.webs.com/ marvelspelltemple@outlook.com This man told me everything i need to know and everything i need to do. I attended to them and right now my husband is back home and we just had a romantic sex and he keep saying i love you to me and never to let go of me again..

    ReplyDelete
  64. How i got my Husband back Thanks to Lord Alika for bringing back my Husband ,and brought great joy to my family??? My name is Kathryn Louise, My Ex-Husband dumped me two weeks ago after I accused him of seeing someone else and insulting him. I want him back in my life but he refuse to have any contact with me. I was so confuse and don't know what to do, so I reach to the internet for help and I saw a testimony of how a spell caster help people to get their ex back so I contact the spell caster and explain my problem to him and he cast a spell for me and assure me of 48hours that my ex will return to me and to my greatest surprise the third day my ex came knocking on my door and beg for forgiveness. I am so happy that my love is back again and not only that, we are about to get married. Once again thank you Lord Alika , You are truly talented and gifted. Web:http://lordalikaspelltemp8.Wix.Com/http is the only answer. He can be of great help and I will not stop publishing him because he is a wonderful man.Email: lordalikaspelltemple@yahoo.Co.Uk or +19287694882. Web:http://lordalikaspelltemp8.Wix.Com/http

    ReplyDelete
  65. Good day,,,,
    Read my testimony!!! Getting ex back after a breakup. Am Cora L. Sanchez 30 from UK, my boyfriend of a 2year just broke up with me and am 28 weeks pregnant. I have cried my self to sleep most of the nights and don’t seem to concentrate during lectures sometimes I stay awake almost all night thinking about him and start to cry all over again. Because of this I end up not having energy for my next day’s classes, my attendance has dropped and am always in uni and on time. Generally he is a very nice guy, he ended it because he said we were arguing a lot and not getting along. He is right we’ve been arguing during the pregnancy a lot. After the break up I kept ringing him and telling him I will change. I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with. I’m still hurt and in disbelief when he said he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards me anymore that hurt me faster than a lethal syringe. He texts me now and then mainly to check up on how am doing with the pregnancy, he is supportive with it but it’s not fair on me, him texting me as I just want to grieve the pain and not have any stress due to the pregnancy. i was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Ahmed can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 22 hours later, my boyfriend came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my boyfriend are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Ahmed. as it is a place to resolve marriage/relationship issues, do you want to be sure if your spouse is being faithful to you or Do you want your Ex to come back to you Contact.: E-mail: Ahmedutimate@gmail.com or call/Whats-app: +2348160153829 save your crumbling home and change of grades its 100% safe. I suggest you contact him. He will not disappoint you.

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    Replies
    1. No Matter What Happened. You Can Get Your Ex Back And Save Your Marriage Today!
      “4 weeks ago my husband left me and our 3 kids for another woman and I want him back. I Love him with all of my heart and I will do anything to get him back, i was so frustrated and i could not know what next to do again, I cry all day and night for God to send me a helper to get back my man. I became very worried and needed help. as i was browsing through the internet one day, I came across a website that suggested that Dr.Unity can help get ex back fast and stop a divorce or breakup and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and told him my problems and he told me what to do and i did it and he did a (Lover spell) for me. 28 hours later, my husband came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my family are living together happily again. Dr.Unity is the best online spell caster that is powerful and genuine. If you have any problem contact him and i guarantee you that he will help you. Here’s his contact: Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com , you can also call him or add him on whats-app: +2348071622464 ,Website: http://unityspelltemple.yolasite.com

      Delete
  69. Replies
    1. Hey guys, I'm so excited of getting my husband back after he left me and our 3 kids for another woman.
      After 2 years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before,All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 ,his website:http://unityspelltemple.yolasite.com . Jessica, 26 years, Texas, USA.

      Delete
  70. Hey guys, I'm so excited of getting my husband back after he left me and our 3 kids for another woman.
    After 2 years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. i felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a (Love spell) for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before,All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact: Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,
    you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348071622464 ,
    his website:http://unityspelltemple.yolasite.com ,
    Jessica, 26 years, Texas, USA .

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  72. I want to use this means to let the world know that all hope is not lost Getting pregnant after having tubes clamped and burned, I know IVF and Reversal could help but it way too cost, i couldn't afford it either and i so desire to add another baby to my family been trying for 5 years, not until i came across Dr. Todd, who cast a pregnancy/Fertility spell for me and i got pregnant.l hope that women out there who are going through the same fears and worries l went through in GETTING PREGNANT , will find your contact as i drop it here on this site, and solution will come to them as they contact you. Thank you and God bless you to reach him, e-mail: (manifestspellcast@gmail.com)

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  73. If you know you not ready for a relationship why get into one and still cheat and liar. I was dying inside for my cheating spouse, i had no prove, no one to run to. Everyone thought i was paranoid. until i was referred to a Private Investigator  Mr James (Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com)  via Email. I told him about my situation and He understood me well and helped me spy on my spouse.He hacked my spouse Gmail and Facebook account and linked all my spouse WhatsApp and phone conversation to me, to find out the truth.I saw all the evidence and i was heart Broken,I just want to openly say thank you to Mr James for helping me get evidence against him. If you need help please contact. Mr James (Worldcyberhackers@gmail.com) via Email. thank you

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  74. My wife was so smooth at hiding her infidelity and I had no proof for months, I saw a recommendation about a Private investigator  and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating wife’s text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone conversations was linked directly to my cellphone. (worldcyberhackers@gmail.com ) Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on her and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..if your wife is an expert at hiding her cheating adventures contact Mr James

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  80. Please read and also contact Dr Trust if you need a powerful love spell to fix your broken relationship.....
    I got a divorce from my husband when I was six months pregnant with my second child. We had been arguing and quarreling nonstop since the day our first child was conceived, no love nor trust from him anymore so he divorced me. And all these whiles, I have been trying all different means to get him back, I also tried some different spell casters here in the United States, but none of them could bring Richard back to me. It was only Dr. Trust who guaranteed me an urgent 48 hours spell casting, and he assure me that my husband will be with me again. I am writing to offer my thanks and deep gratitude to you for keeping your promises, and for using your gifted and great powers to bring him back home. I was thrilled to know that you are specialized in reuniting Lovers. Thank you Sir, for helping me through the worst times of my life, for being such a great spell caster, and for giving me a love spell that has brought me so much joy in my marriage. My husband is back and promise never to leave me again. If you doubt his ability, trust me. You should take a chance. It pays off in ways you could never even imagine. If you are their right now and you need a powerful and urgent love spell to bring back your ex kindly contact Dr. Trust right now he is the only answer to restore your broken relationship or marriage. Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com
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    Read more about him on his website and also contact him: http://utimatespellcast.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  81. My husband and I have been married for 3 and a half years. In June it will be 7 years that we have been a part of each other lives. Recently he found out about a guy I slept with when we were separated and I did not tell him about. Before we got married we both agreed to let everything out and start fresh. I didn’t tell him. I was embarrassed bc the guy and I never actually had sex…just everything that led up to it. not to mention it was my brothers best friend and a huge mistake. well it came out recently along with some lies. A friend told my husband I cheated on him and I have never cheated on my husband nor would I ever. He is convinced I am a cheater. we have 2 beautiful kids and all I have ever wanted is a happy family. my kids and my husband truly are my everything. I can not see a future where my husband is not in it. I want to do whatever I can to save my marriage but I feel my husband is already set on the divorce. I know I could have been a better wife to him….a wife he deserves but now I fee like I have realized it too late. I look at my kids and I hate myself for allowing myself to break my family apart. I know my husband is not perfect and he has hurt me tremendously these past 5 years we have been off and on but we made it through for a reason. I love him and I want to save my marriage, one day a friend of my introduce me to a spell caster online who lift me up gave me hope and with-in 2 days after his spell my husband who told me he needed a divorce, called me and take me back home to me i must say today we are happily as one big family again all thanks to Dr joy a father and a real spell caster.Contact email address joylovespell@gmail.com Call him +2348100452479.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online and his result is 100% guarantee.
    My Name Olivia Stephen form Tx,USA. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact
    Call/WhatsApp: +2348071622464 ,
    Email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,
    Website:https://unityspelltmple.blogspot.com .

    ReplyDelete
  83. My wife is back with the help of Dr Trust love spell......
    My wife left me heartbroken, this made me sick and my problem became very very difficult and it made me almost gave up but after the love spell from Dr. Trust, my relationship was restored instantly, I was happy that the outcome was fantastic and effective, only 2 days after Dr. Trust started it all,i got result instantly,my wife was back with full of love and sincerity. Never in my life have I thought this would work so fast. My wife reconcile with me and she started acting completely different, we make love everyday, I feel happy once again, and like never before. It felt so good to have my wife back again, Thanks to Dr. Trust for your wonderful love spell done. Please email him if you need any help in your relationship. Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com or Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com. WhatsAPP Or call number (+1 317 762 7416 )

    Also check and contact him on his website now: http://utimatespellcast.blogspot.com.ng
    Derek Luke
    From Texas

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  86. URGENT GENUINE LOVE-SPELL TO GET YOUR EX BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND OR HUSBAND/WIFE BACK FAST.
    I have something to share with you!!! There is a great joy in my heart which I want to share with everyone. My name is Jessica Jackson, from united States. I had a misunderstanding with my lover last year which led us to break up and he never wanted to hear my voice again. He saw a beautiful woman which he find more prettier than me, but as time went on I met god Dr Purity He is a great spell caster. I contacted him through his email and
    explained everything to him. He said that I shouldn't worry, that my lover will come back to me on his knees begging for forgiveness before 24 hours. My greatest joy now is that he actually came back to me and fell on
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    my Sister's breast cancer. Do you have any problem? worry no more because Dr Purity can provide lasting spell solution to any problems:email him puritylovespell@gmail.com or call him +2348070980389 or add him on whats- app +2348070980389

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    ReplyDelete


  87. Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!!!
    It’s a thing of joy to have someone on earth who God almighty has sent to redeem and help those that are in captivity. My husband divorced me but Doctor Purity recently saved my broken marriage again. here is his email puritylovespell@gmail.com about how my marriage was reunited.my name is Jessica Jackson,from United kindom, and i am happy today.you can also call him or add him on Whats-app: +2348070980389.I congratulate you as you do so, indeed you are the next testifier.
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    (17) Business protection.

    ReplyDelete

  88. Powerful Effective Love Spell Get Your Ex Back About a month ago I got back to my ex(after 2 and half years separated). Everything was ok and she was the most adorable woman in the world. she spoke about wedding ceremony, how many kids we would have, said that our relationship was the most important thing in her life and she was 100% sure about it…Then he traveled to work in other country for 3 weeks. she changed his behavior completely. she disappeared every night, was saying she had to do some work and would talk to me later, but disappeared the rest of the day and night… no explanation, when I asked why she was disappearing every night, she stopped answering me. she’s ignoring me since last week, April 15. she ignored even my birthday, that was April 16. Not even a message. I wrote to her a few times trying to understand what happened, she read but just ignored me.I feel so bad cause I couldn’t stop contacting and trying to understand what happened.i loved her so much and wanted to get her back, then i was told to contact agbadado@gmail.com who can help out with a love spell to reunite your relationship back, so instantly do contact him and give him a try and trust me he did an urgent effective love spell for me and with in 48hours promise he made to me, my woman was back, today i testify to you all that you should seek and contact Dr Ikhine for his spell result is genuine sure and guarantee unite and get your ex back
    save your marriage/relationship problem now,
    Email him now on.. agbadado@gmail.com
    If you want to talk for more info or consultation. Whatsapp/call +2347038832903

    ReplyDelete
  89. My names are Ashley Vivian, Am here to share a testimony on how Dr Raypower helped me. After 1/5 year relationship with my boyfriend, he changed suddenly and stopped contacting me regularly, he would come up with excuses of not seeing me all the time. He stopped answering my calls and my sms and he stopped seeing me regularly. I then started catching him with different girls several times but every time he would say that he love me and that he needed some time to think about our relationship. But cannot stop thinking about him so i decided to go online and i saw so many good talk about this spell caster called Dr Raypower and i contact him and explain my problems to him. He cast a love spell for me which i use and after 24 hours, my boyfriend came back to me and started contacting me regularly and we moved in together after a few months and he was more open to me than before and he started spending more time with me than his friends. We eventually got married and we now have been married happily for 3 years with a son. Ever since Dr Raypower helped me, my partner is very stable, faithful and closer to me than before.You can also contact this spell caster and get your relationship fix Email: urgentspellcast@gmail.com see more reviews about him on his website: http://urgentspellcast.website2.me Call or WhatsApp: +1 (424) 330-8109

    ReplyDelete
  90. Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online and his result is 100% guarantee.
    My Name Olivia Stephen form Tx,USA. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact
    Call/WhatsApp: +2348071622464 ,
    Email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,
    Website:https://unityspelltmple.blogspot.com .

    ReplyDelete
  91. My Ex-girlfriend left me and my daughter since 7 weeks ago after, I tried ALMOST EVERYTHING to restore my relationship and I was disappointed. None was working out, A week later I saw Dr. Sam website and after I contact Dr. Sam for help, everything automatically change, my sadness became joy, smile was all over my face, everything happened very FAST and the result was effective. Dr Sam is the ONLY spell caster who i had success with, my girlfriend called me and said she wanted us to come back and also want to marry me. She came back to me begging me to accept her back and this happened Due to the help of Dr. Sam. I Am so happy that I have my Girlfriend back. Contact Dr. Sam now for an urgent and fast love spell to win your relationship back. Supremespellcast@gmail.com or Supremespellcast@yahoo.com
    You can read more about him on his website and contact him: http://supremespellcast.website2.me Or his blog> https://supremespellcast.blogspot.com Name: Latrease Lane
    Country: USA




    My Ex-girlfriend left me and my daughter since 7 weeks ago after, I tried ALMOST EVERYTHING to restore my relationship and I was disappointed. None was working out, A week later I saw Dr. Sam website and after I contact Dr. Sam for help, everything automatically change, my sadness became joy, smile was all over my face, everything happened very FAST and the result was effective. Dr Sam is the ONLY spell caster who i had success with, my girlfriend called me and said she wanted us to come back and also want to marry me. She came back to me begging me to accept her back and this happened Due to the help of Dr. Sam. I Am so happy that I have my Girlfriend back. Contact Dr. Sam now for an urgent and fast love spell to win your relationship back. Supremespellcast@gmail.com or Supremespellcast@yahoo.com
    You can read more about him on his website and contact him: http://supremespellcast.website2.me Or his blog> https://supremespellcast.blogspot.com Name: Latrease Lane
    Country: USA

    ReplyDelete
  92. Save Your Relationship and Get Your Ex Boyfriend/Girlfriend Back!contact: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com is certainly the best spell caster online and his result is 100% guarantee.
    My Name Olivia Stephen form Tx,USA. After 12years of marriage, me and my husband has been into one quarrel or the other until he finally left me and moved to California to be with another woman. I felt my life was over and my kids thought they would never see their father again. i tried to be strong just for the kids but i could not control the pains that torments my heart, my heart was filled with sorrows and pains because i was really in love with my husband. Every day and night i think of him and always wish he would come back to me, I was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help get ex back fast. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a Love spell for me. 28 hours later, my husband really called me and told me that he miss me and the kids so much, So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and the kids. Then from that day,our Marriage was now stronger than how it were before, All thanks to Dr Unity. he is so powerful and i decided to share my story on the internet that Dr.Unity real and powerful spell caster who i will always pray to live long to help his children in the time of trouble, if you are here and you need your Ex back or your husband moved to another woman, do not cry anymore, contact this powerful spell caster now. Here’s his contact
    Call/WhatsApp: +2348071622464 ,
    Email: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,
    blogsite:https://unityspelltmple.blogspot.com .
    Website:Website:https://unityspelltempleblog.wordpress.com

    ReplyDelete
  93. CONTACT SPYTECHENTERPRISE@GMAIL.COM if you suspect your Partner cheating on you they helped me hack my cheating husband cell phone and I got full access to his cell phone getting me all the prove I needed you can also find them on instagram @privatespyhacker they would help you as they did me

    ReplyDelete

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