|How my school feels right now.|
I love my school, but our heater really is the worst. In past years, it would be mid-morning before the whole building was warmed. This year it decided it had had enough and started blowing out cold air only, like an obstinate child. I posted a Facebook status about this situation earlier this week, and was surprised to find how not uncommon it is to have not-awesome central heating. Freezing teachers unite!
Despite my misery, I have been very impressed by the creativity and innovation of my colleagues and I for the past week as our heater gets fixed. I wanted to share ways we've learned to cope with our little Arctic tundra.
1. Microwave a cup of water and dip your hands in it repeatedly. Be sure you have gloves or mittens to slip into directly afterwards, or your hands will be in a Jack-at-the-end-of-Titanic-type situation.
2. Print off blank Word documents and hold the warm paper. Sometimes if nobody is watching I hug it, too. Heavenly.
3. Hold your hands next to the projector fan. Ahhhhhh.
4. Assign a student the task of breathing on your hands. But good luck explaining that one to your administrator when he/she drops in.
5. Find someone with a class pet and ask to cuddle it. The only class pet I can think of at our school is a giant snake, which I don’t think would be warm, even after Googling it.
6.Wear a headband over your nose. Will keep your nose warm* without affecting your ability to yell at students who are still running in the hallways 6 months into the school year.
7. Invest in a Keurig and make a cup of coffee, tea, or hot chocolate every five minutes. Or make yourself a hot toddy! Just kidding! Wait until you get home!
8. If the heater is broken enough to demand that you wear mittens indoors, use two Q-tips to type your emails. It’s not as bad as you’d think.
9. Create a bonfire in the center of your classroom using standardized testing manuals and professional development books you never asked for. Hahahaha. Isn't it pretty to think so?
I hope your heater is less of a jerk than mine is.
And if you teach on a tropical island don’t talk to me.
*first I typed “news,” as in, “It will keep your news warm,” and it is still making me laugh. MY NEWWWWS IS KEWWWWWLD